Category Archives: Friendship

NEAW 2017 – No man is an island

Sometimes, when you’re stuck in the midst of the relentless demands and emotional turmoil of a chronic illness, it’s difficult to see beyond your immediate reality and nearly impossible to believe that anyone else can even begin to understand how you’re feeling at that moment in time. It is no surprise that the one with the diagnosis often becomes self-centred and self-absorbed as their illness dictates every facet of their life and it can take a long time to really grasp that there are others out there who can empathise because of their own struggles and experiences. It’s all too easy for the focus of family, friends and the outside world to be focused fully on the individual and often the others affected by the diagnosis are left to struggle on their own by the wayside.

Over the years we have worked hard to try to give G the attention she deserves and it’s heartbreaking to realise that there are more times than I care to admit where we have absolutely failed to get that balance right. M’s ill-timed admissions over G’s birthday for 2 years in row were a bitter pill to swallow for us all and nothing could really make up for the disappointment of spending her 12th birthday too many miles apart. Encouraging G’s involvement with our local Young Carers group and the GOSH YPF as well as applying for her to be a part of the Over The Wall siblings camps have all been important steps in recognising the impact that M’s health challenges have had on her over the last 13 years and supporting her to find her own identity that is completely independent from him. It is an ongoing process for us and Mike and I will continue to strive everyday to support G as much as she needs, especially as the emotional roller-coaster of her teen years starts.

Just as our family is affected by M’s EGID diagnosis, so too is the community that surrounds him. I have mentioned so many times the amazing village school that both G and M have attended and everyday am grateful for their unfaltering support. Since M arrived at their gates nearly 4 years ago, they have willingly taken on the responsibility of dealing with a child with complex additional needs, not just medical but educational too. They have allowed both children, and us, to promote NEAW and their continued support with our fundraising efforts has been fantastic. I regularly read about the problems other parents with EGID children are facing in their schools around the UK and I know that we’re incredibly lucky to found this little gem. M has been able to attend school with a feeding tube, a broken leg and an extremely restricted diet and his attendance is remarkable for a child who has been through so much in so short a time. His Year 6 teacher has been fantastic at encouraging him this year when the prospect of SATS has caused him unbelievable anxiety and she has put up with a plethora of emails as I’ve tried to iron out the biggest wrinkles in a stress-filled few months. His classmates have similarly been an irrefutable source of encouragement and his move up to secondary school in September will be eased by their presence in his life.

We do not live in splendid isolation and every action we take has a ripple effect that can stretch out further than we can ever imagine, especially as a child. We are extremely lucky to have a community that works with us to help both children have the childhood that they are entitled to enjoy, one that is all too often marred by the difficult reality of chronic illness. As G and M grow older, my hope is that the realisation slowly dawns that whilst everyone’s life is unique, there are moments that teach us all lessons that can help us reach out to and empathise with others. Going to Over The Wall camps has shown both children that, despite those times when they feel isolated, there are others in the bigger world that do understand what they’re feeling, what they’re living and who can perhaps help them learn to survive even the darkest of emotions; and that when they have survived their own dark place, they can reach out to others who need to be brought back into the sun.

This year we have decided to continue our support of the amazing charity, Over The Wall and their camps. If you’re able to donate even a very small amount, please follow this link to my Virgin Money Giving Page where your donation will help more children living with chronic illness like G and M by giving them and their families a chance to enjoy some much-needed time away from it all.

NEAW 2017 – Wings to fly

As a parent, one of the biggest challenges you face is helping your child grow in self-confidence, develop independence and to ultimately give them the wings they need to fly away from the security of the family home. There are so many obstacles to overcome along the way and when a chronic illness is thrown into the mix, it can feel almost impossible to let your child take those first steps on their own. Our determination to not let EGID define either child means that every day is an opportunity to let go of our own anxieties and concerns, and encourage them to make their own decisions regardless of the limitations that health, medicine and diet place on them. Of course, much as we work to equip G and M with the skills they’ll need as they grow up, I know that they need to learn so much more than what Mike and I can teach them on our own and so we always look for any opportunity to develop their learning from experiences that are beyond our ability to give.

That’s why once again this year, I completed the application forms for both G and M to attend the fantastic camps offered by charity, Over The Wall, knowing that their respective weeks away from home will be all about friendship and understanding and being amongst equals and building self-esteem and so, so much more. When G came home from the South Siblings Camp last year, she was a different child to the one who had left us just 5 days before. The time spent with others who have a similar home life to her was invaluable as she realised that her life experiences didn’t isolate her in those circumstances; and the focus on her and making sure that she had the best time she could helped G to find a self-worth that she had been struggling to develop at home and at school. Likewise, M had what could only be described as the best week ever as he was able to spend a week away from home without family for the first time in his life. He tried his hand at activities that had terrified him before and he too found great comfort in the realisation that he is not on his own in his health challenges.

We were all delighted when G heard she had a place at this year’s Siblings Camp and we couldn’t wait to hear all about her adventures there as a Green Girl. From the moment I dropped her off with some familiar faces, including the unexpected, but much welcome presence of G’s buddy from the GOSH YPF who was volunteering for the very first time, I knew that she was destined for another great week. Their unfailing attention to detail and care for the young people they were responsible for during the camp was impressive. We received a phone-call on the second night to say that whilst G was having an amazing time, she was struggling with the “fancy” gluten- and dairy-free food that the chefs were lovingly preparing for her and wasn’t really eating as much as they would like.  A quick catch-up to understand G’s food preferences and the reassurance that they would continue to keep an eye on her was all I needed to be certain that their care was absolutely everything I could want it to be.

M, Mike and I were all able to make the journey to pick G up at the end of her week away and were all immersed in the joy that is the camp bubble of OTW for the short time that we were there. Our Green Girl had tried her hand at most things, exceeded her own limitations and came away with a much-deserved pride in her achievements. This photo of a beaming G at the top of the climbing wall reflects her determination to overcome her self-proclaimed fear of heights and the pride she felt when she surpassed what she managed last year to achieve: more than she had ever believed herself capable of doing. Unlike the previous year, when she had been reluctant to take part in the Talent show, this time round, she went prepared with a routine she’s been working on during her school dance club and performed with a confidence and grace that reaped an impressive number of compliments as well as moving her YPF buddy to tears with her passion for her dance. G became good friends with several in her team and has been keeping in contact with them in the weeks following camp. She has developed a confidence and willingness to take on new challenges, knowing that, with a little bit of self-belief and perseverance, no mountain is too big for her to conquer.

It is thanks to Over The Wall that my children are becoming all that they can be and are learning that chronic illness doesn’t have to be a hurdle to anything they want to do. Over The Wall truly gives both our children wings to fly and our thanks just don’t seem to be enough.

This year we have decided to continue our support of the amazing charity, Over The Wall and their camps. If you’re able to donate even a very small amount, please follow this link to my Virgin Money Giving Page where your donation will help more children living with chronic illness like G and M by giving them and their families a chance to enjoy some much-needed time away from it all.

 

OTW Siblings #Take Two

This time last year, this happened:

and since the start of February, when the email finally arrived in my inbox confirming that G would once again be heading off to the depths of Dorset for the fabulous Over The Wall South Siblings Camp, the clock has been counting down. I’m surrounded by reminders of this amazing organisation wherever I look, from the screen saver on my phone to the calendar on my desk at work and it’s reflected every time I hear G or M, or sometimes both, bursting into a song from their time away at camp.

The next 5 days are going to be busy ones as I wash, iron, sort and pack G’s clothes for next week. We need to make sure she has enough for every eventuality – sunny days, wet weather, swimming, archery, arts and crafts, the talent show and the all important disco. Unlike last year, when she refused to even consider being part of the talent evening until she got there and then taught her team, the totally epic Purple Girls, a dance routine to Omi’s “Cheerleader” track; this year G is torn about which talent in particular she wants to perform. It could be a clarinet solo, which M would love her to do, or it might be a new dance routine, this time with costume. I’ve told her she really needs to have made her decision by the weekend, so I can ensure she’s got everything she wants with her when we set out on Monday. We’re so thrilled that G has the opportunity to benefit once again from the fantastic work done to support siblings of children with health challenges and I can’t wait to hear all about this year’s week away from home with OTW.

You may remember that since G’s adventures with Over The Wall last year, we have been raising awareness and funds for this incredible cause and I created this video to show our reasons for supporting them:

Sports Mad in New York

With the demands of work, home and children meaning that Mike and I are barely managing to lift our heads above the parapet for more than 5 minutes at a time right now, it’s hard to believe that 6 weeks ago we were relaxing and enjoying my #40thcelebrations in New York. One of the unquestionable highlights of our trip was the opportunity to attend what has to be one of Mike’s favourite sporting events, a NHL (National Hockey League) ice hockey game and even better could watch Mike’s home team, the Toronto Maple Leafs up against local heroes, the New York Islanders. This was undoubtedly more of a treat for Mike than for me, but I’m not ashamed to confess that I much prefer watching ice hockey live to on TV and this game was an absolute humdinger of a match to see.

What I love about ice hockey is the friendly rivalry between the opposing teams and that, no matter where you sit and what team you support, the love of the game is the most important thing. We sat in what were fantastic seats at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center, Mike proudly wearing his Maple Leafs jersey and with a true mix of Toronto and New York fans surrounding us. There were good-hearted jibes, enthusiastic cheers and an atmosphere that reflected just how much every single person there was enjoying the skills they were seeing on the ice. In front of us sat 2 families, one supporting New York, the other Toronto and the kids gleefully switched seats and gave high-fives to all surrounding them whenever their team of choice scored. I had forgotten just how much fun an ice hockey game is and can’t wait until we have opportunity to take G and M to see their first NHL game, no matter who’s playing.

This was an outing that had been carefully planned in advance, but we also took advantage of a free night combined with a yearning to visit Madison Square Gardens, and managed to secure tickets to watch my very first NBA (National Basketball Association) game. To say I was somewhat underwhelmed by the antics of the New York Knicks vs. the Los Angeles Clippers is, well, an understatement, but I was completely dazzled by the stellar performance of their cheerleading squad both before and during the game. Basketball is a game that I really haven’t found an affinity for, much preferring the hard-fought matches of the netball of my youth. I’m glad we went to the game and would love to take the children along for the experience at some point in the future, but I don’t think I’m ever going to be converted to a hard and fast basketball fan. In fact, I was far more excited by the number of celebrities who were there watching the game too and loved waiting to see which film or TV show clip would be played to reveal the next well-known star on-site. I’d be hard-pressed to select my favourite star, but whilst Chris Rock and John McEnroe are both are up there with the best of them, it was Mr TeenWolf himself, Michael J Fox, who took the top spot in my heart.

Our night out at the Gardens was our last night in New York, but it was definitely not the end of our Big Apple adventures. We always knew that travelling to NYC in February meant that we might be subject to winter weather, but we never expected the extremes we experienced over the length of our stay. It had started with below freezing temperatures with glorious sunshine, passed through grey, wet and miserable and gave us a penultimate day of beautiful spring weather that saw us shedding the thermals and thick winter coats that had been our faithful companions throughout the holiday. And then, just as last week’s Winter Storm Stella buried the city in around 18cms of snow, her predecessor Winter Storm Niko arrived to give us a final day of bitter cold and the snow that Mike had been longing for the whole time we were there. We spent our last morning trudging through the snow in Central Park, capturing the landscape in photos to show the unbelievable difference that a mere 24 hours can make. Our flight was delayed by a couple of hours, but we spent some great time people-watching at JFK airport before boarding the flight and grabbing what sleep we could on our homeward journey. It was an absolutely amazing holiday and I can’t wait to visit again, perhaps with G and M in tow.

    

On this Day

One of the things I enjoy about Facebook is the “On this Day” look back at the previous statuses you’ve posted on that day in years past, which is how I realised that today marks 4 years since the start of this blog. I’ve come,..we’ve come a long way since that very first post and have had more experiences, opportunities and adventures that I ever imagined possible. I’ve made some wonderful new friends and have been privileged to be able to lend support to those at the very start of their journey. We’ve met some amazing people and I can’t wait to discover what the year ahead brings.

Thank you for being a big part of my blog and continuing to support us every step of the way.

Beating the Blues

Today is Blue Monday, the day predicted to be the gloomiest day of the year due to bad weather, the stark reality of our Christmas over-indulgence now affecting our dwindling bank accounts, the post-Christmas buzz that has completely disappeared from the horizon and our well-meant resolutions that are proving far harder to keep than we ever imagined. There are some New Year resolutions that you know will be difficult to keep beyond the first few days – abstinence springs instantly to mind – and then there are those that will never, could never be a challenge, but rather are an absolute pleasure to complete. Last year gave our family 2 amazing opportunities, experiences that were so life-changing, so extraordinary for both children and so liberating for us all that I knew that one resolution that I would not fail to meet was to write a post to not only recapture what are amongst my most favourite memories of 2016, but to also encourage others to get involved with what is a truly inspirational organisation.

9a78a65173e2885ea3a8c8b9d3ccd1acThanks to the amazing charity, Over The Wall, last year both G and M were able to escape from the reality that is their life at home coping with chronic illness and find a world where nothing could hold them back or stop them from achieving what might have previously seemed to have been impossible. G discovered a group of friends who could understand completely what life can be like when you have a sibling with serious health issues, but who got to know the unique, kind-hearted, gentle-spirited and passionate girl she can be in her own right and not simply as “M’s big sister“. Her confidence grew as she responded to the love, focus and encouragement that was given to her throughout her week away and she found a new and irreplaceable identity as a valuable member of last year’s Purple Girls at the South Siblings camp. Likewise, just a few months later, M was able to experience, for the first time ever, a week away from family, where he got to be as carefree a child as his school-mates are and could try out a whole host of new activities, confident and safe in the knowledge that his medical needs were being well-managed by the volunteer team surrounding him and he just needed to concentrate on having fun. Their time away from home taught them both that there is more to them than EGID and food allergies: Over The Wall truly gave my children wings to help them soar.

So, why write once again about the extraordinary adventure that is Over The Wall? Well, with a New Year comes new opportunities and you don’t have to have a child living with a chronic illness to be able to become involved with this organisation:

  • Application forms are currently open for places on the 2017 camps and be it the Siblings, Health Challenges or Family camp that meets your needs, now is the time to register your interest and find out if you can secure a place. Both children are glad to know that their forms have been completed and sent off, and it’s just a case of waiting to see if they’re back to the camp bubble this year
  • These camps depend heavily on the huge amount of time given to them by their team of dedicated volunteers. If you’re interested in volunteering your time and helping make a difference to young people impacted by health problems, volunteer applications are also now open. The medical team who willingly give their time are unquestionably invaluable, but whatever your skills, know that your presence will undoubtedly make a difference to the children that are there
  • OTW offer these camps free to those families who attend and to be able to keep doing what they do and successfully reach out to even more young people, they need your help in raising funds. As a family we decided to focus our fundraising efforts last year on OTW and will continue to do so for 2017. Thank you so much if you helped us make a difference in 2016. Cake sales, sky-diving, shaving your head or running a marathon – whatever your interest, please consider supporting this charity by raising sponsorship or making a donation

And just in case you needed a reason to support and spread the news about Over The Wall, here’s a few photos that capture the magic that transformed the lives of G and M in unimaginable ways in 2016.

New Year Resolutions

Two weeks into 2017 and, for some, their good intentions may already be beginning to waver as the grey skies, endless rain and post-Christmas blues sap away any enthusiasm that might have existed at that moment of pressure when they were asked by a well-meaning friend or work colleague what their New Year resolutions were. Love them or hate them,newyearsresolution you’ve probably got an opinion of them, even if it’s just that they’re not worth doing as only the very few manage to keep to their chosen goal.

Last year, Mike and I both had resolutions, though of very differing types and whilst I was fully aware of what Mike was planning to do, I set myself a goal that I chose not to share with anyone. Mike’s resolution for 2016 was to extend his previous challenges of giving up alcohol during Lent by trying to be dry every other weekend throughout the year. He sensibly took the approach that there would undoubtedly be occasions when he would want to drink 2 weekends in a row, so was flexible in managing it, sometimes choosing to abstain for 2 weeks before drinking for 2 weeks. It seemed to work well and he was delighted that he reached the end of the year having managed to stick to his resolution for the full 52 weeks.

In comparison, mine was a blog-based goal and one that I was secretly hoping to achieve and would monitor throughout the months to see if I was still on track to succeed. The one thing I love about the blogging platform that I use and something that really appeals to my accountant’s heart, is the statistics I can access and drill into on a regular basis. As well as showing me my daily hit rates and what posts are proving particularly popular, I can also compare and contrast my monthly statistics and averages since I first started writing nearly 4 years ago.  In my first 10 months, I achieved nearly 6,000 views, whilst the following 2 years saw me hitting the heady heights of over 11,000 blog post reads over the year. Last January I decided I wanted to break the 12,000 mark and set myself a target of 1,000 hits a month to reach it. Some months it was close with the lowest read rate being 1,030 in March, whereas other months were hugely successful including a 2016 high of 2,396 in August. My year-end goal of 12,000 was well and truly met and I can confirm Successthat I actually achieved over 16,000 hits in the year, something I never really thought possible when I started blogging in 2013. I haven’t set myself a NY resolution for years, so it was a fantastic feeling when I finally passed that last 1,000 mark in December and could quietly pat myself on the back.

This year our household has taken something of a mixed approach to the whole matter of resolutions, being firmly split between 2 distinct camps: those who do (Mike and G) and those who don’t (M and me). I’m not going to publicly share the resolution decisions of my loved ones at this stage in the game, though I promise to let you all know if they manage to achieve what they’re planning to do as and when they reach their end goal. As for me, well it’s not strictly true that I haven’t set myself a resolution, but rather a year’s goal that is to successfully juggle the new pressures of blog writing, awards judging, T1D managing, parenting and full-time working so that I can do enough in each area and hopefully fail at none. My focus is having to be sharpened at the moment to ensure that none of the balls is dropped and I guess only time will tell how successful I can actually be. Of course, I will undoubtedly share my progress on my blog.

How about you? Have you started 2017 with a resolution or goal in place? I hope that if you have you’ve managed to keep it so far and that you have continued success with it!

quotescover-png-83-1024x587-jpg-900x515

Thermos-inspired lunches

There are 2 things that are promising to totally transform the look of M’s packed lunches for school in 2017. The first is the reintroduction of parsnips to his diet as I’m finally able to cook a crisp-like addition for his lunchbox, which makes them seem a lot more like those of his friends after a long time of feeling so very different. 9270635_r_z002a_uc1440961The second was thanks to a somewhat last-minute Christmas present from good ol’ Father Christmas, which M is absolutely thrilled with and can’t wait to try out now that the new term has started – an individual thermos flask complete with a folding metal spoon tucked neatly into its top.

He’s been considering the matter at great length and has already come up with a long list of meals that he is keen to try out over the coming months. From pasta dishes including lasagne, to risotto and stir-fry, the options are endless, but today’s maiden meal was new-found favourite, parsnip and apple soup. This simple meal is beautifully easy to make, which is something I’m extremely grateful for now that I’m back to work full-time and every second saved cooking is a second gainfully employed somewhere else. Even better, the range of herbs and spices that I can safely add to M’s meals means that I can img_12781create enough subtle flavour differences to his soups to provide some much-needed variety and keep him engaged in the novelty of his first hot school lunches in a long time.

For the launch of our experimental hot meals at school, I made a spicy apple and parsnip soup and included a few of the Rude Health mini rice crackers that have become an integral part of many of M’s lunch and snack times. Whilst nothing can really compare to the unquestionable delight of dipping some crusty French bread into a bowl of rich, creamy soup, the portion of homemade, and safe, parsnip and apple soup accompanied by a handful of rice crackers was everything that M was longing for it to be and that meant it was a resounding success. Over the coming weeks I’m looking forward to experimenting a little more with texture and flavour and will be looking at replacing the apple with pear as well as changing the herbs added to each bowlful. Most of all, I’m hoping that M continues to be excited about the prospect of enjoying a mix of hot and cold meals during the next few months of the school year.

Looking ahead

bin4zq6cyae-dvx

The start of a New Year is always an opportunity to reflect on the things that have passed, but more importantly, to look ahead to the adventures that are yet to come. We had a 2016 filled with as many highs and lows as we’ve faced in previous years and I don’t doubt that 2017 will be equally challenging in ways that are both startlingly similar and scarily new. I’m looking forward to a year that will investigate new possibilities for M’s diet and seek potential answers for what’s going on in his body as well as watching as G tries out new opportunities and starts thinking ahead to the school subjects she wants to study for GCSEs – a conversation that has filled our end-of-holidays walk this afternoon. We don’t know exactly what this year will bring, but it’s always good to look back on everything that has brought us to this place:

A Bento Box Journey

packed lunch

Packed lunches can easily become boring

Have you ever seen a picture of something on-line and be so impressed that you just wish you’d known about it sooner? 18 months ago, a friend and fellow FABED Mum started posting on FB photos of the most incredible Bento boxes that she had been putting together on a daily basis for her daughter’s school packed lunches. Contending with a limited diet as well as other sensory issues, this Mum wanted to create an appealing meal that would encourage her child to eat whilst at school and ensure that she didn’t feel like she was missing out because of her restrictions. On a regular basis, I see updated photos of her most recent creations and I love how she tailors the themes of the boxes to match events at school or in the outside world. I can’t imagine anything better for a child than opening this lunch box at school to discover what food has been included and the theme that has been picked for that day, and I’m sure she must be the envy of many of her friends. To be frank, I’m quite envious as I would love to have these bento boxes for my own lunches too!

 Are you wondering exactly what I mean? Well, take a look at these amazing boxes that have come from N’s kitchen over the last year:

 But why take the time to make your child a bento box meal like these? Without a doubt, a creative lunch may take a little bit of forward planning, but I’m certain that the benefits gained far outweigh the extra time and effort needed each day. Children with food allergies often have an unavoidable sense that they are missing out because they can’t enjoy the same crisps or chocolate or even sandwich fillings as their friends, but when their safe meal can suddenly become as appealing, if not more so, than that of their peers, that disappointment can start to disappear. 12662534_10153359363278176_2469231552454213776_nA child with sensory issues or a reluctance to taste new foods and textures may be tempted to take a bite when faced with a Minion banana or a star-shaped piece of cheese. Of course, there’s no guarantee that your hard work will reap immediate rewards, but as with most things, a continued effort may make all the difference in the long run.

 I just wish M and G were back at the stage of just starting school as I can well imagine how delighted they would have been to eat lunches as inventive as these, but I think we’ve probably passed that window of opportunity, although I am tempted to ask M if he’d like them during his final year of Junior school. As you can see from the pictures I’ve shared above, what helps make the boxes so special is the various pieces of paraphernalia that can be bought online from Bento box company, Eats Amazing. There is an astounding amount of bits and pieces available, from mini cutters to letters and accessories, all there to help turn the run of the mill into a work of art. I suggest that you give yourself plenty of time to discover all that the website has to offer and choose items from themes that will not only appeal, 10629611_10153108516363176_8999877504252818384_nbut can be used on more than one occasion. At first glance, this isn’t a cheap hobby, but by picking a few strategic pieces and taking inspiration from everything that’s available, I am sure that this would be a sound investment for anyone wanting to make their child’s lunchbox something really special. I suspect it would have even tempted my pickiest of eaters when she was a few years younger.

 I am so grateful to N and her family for sharing their bento box journey and showing how a little creativity can make a big difference to a child surviving food allergies and issues in the school environment.

10301171_10153437415023176_5234933325303056252_n 13654215_10153732108633176_2068173904709473946_n