So many milestones to mark in life: significant birthdays, anniversaries and weddings. Today marks a different milestone, a different life event and one that raises memories with a smile and a small twinge of sadness.
18 years Dad, since we said goodbye. Love you always xxx
18 years ago, as we waited for you to finally arrive, I wondered what I would want to share with you when this day came: what stories we’d have to tell, memories to reminisce on or words of wisdom for you to take with you as you stepped out into the adult world.
I’m still considering even now what knowledge I can usefully share, what words will express the depth of love we have for you…will always have for you and how we will support you as best we can as you find and take the next step of your journey.
I know to share that we loved you from the first moment we knew we were expecting you.
Felt awe when I first felt your kick, reminding me of your presence even though I was yet to meet you.
Fell more in love with you the first time I held you in my arms with a fierce protective love that only grew stronger as I fed and comforted you in the middle of the night; and every day since.
Worried about you, fought battles you never knew were there and made the best decisions we could to keep protecting you and allowing you to grow to be who you were meant to be.
I’ve watched you grow and change from a contented baby to a awesome big sister and now, on the cusp of adulthood, a young woman I’m proud to call my daughter.
Is that enough? I still don’t know, but as we celebrate your 18th birthday today, know that we love you, always have and always will.
Love you always sweetheart xxx
Today some of my memories of this day 17 years ago are starting to fade, the details less sharp, less present than they have been in the past.
And yet, at other times, my memories of you feel as clear as if they had just happened yesterday
Today I can hear your voice and sense your presence even though 17 years have passed.
Today is simply for quiet reflection and time shared with G and M, the grandchildren I know you’d have loved.
The last couple of weeks have been busy, filled with car park pantos, eye surgery, Christmas, board games, family quizzes, new tiers and changes to the school term about to start. Who knows exactly what 2021 will bring (we certainly couldn’t have predicted how 2020 turned out!), but I wish you all a very happy and peaceful New Year.
16 years that feel like a lifetime, but, at the same time, have passed in a flash. How is it that it has been that long since I last got to speak to you, to see you, to simply spend some time with you?
16 years that have seen so many changes and I can’t imagine what you’d make of the year we’re in right now. I’ve no doubt you’d be up to your ears embracing the technology of Zoom and FaceTime to see family whilst in the depths of lockdown.
16 years and we’re teetering on the brink of the next stage of our life as G and M grow into incredible young adults that I know you’d be so proud of and start to plan their own next steps.
16 years of making memories without you and yet you are a part of those 16 years nevertheless. Much loved and much missed.
A summer like no other, but still filled to bursting with sunshine, laughter and huge amounts of safe ice-cream!
Like so many others our summer holidays plans have been put on hold this year, first by COVID-19 and then by the loss of Mike’s Dad. After much discussion with G in particular, we had originally planned an epic Disney holiday through Northern Europe to mark the end of 2 years of hard work towards her GCSEs and it was a huge disappointment to us all when we had to cancel that trip. Instead, G, M and I have found ourselves on staycation this week and have been heading out on day trips within a reasonable distance of our home base.
The soaring heatwave has, at times, been almost unbearable, and there’s been much discussion about whether it’s been as hot as either our holidays to Portugal or Greece – it has – especially without the refreshing coolness of a pool or the sea to dip in and out of when needed. It has, however, also got us talking about places we’d like to visit in the future, destinations we’d like to go back to and truly appreciating the ease with which we’ve been able to travel and experience so many different cultures in the past.
This week we’ve explored an arboretum, been on a bear hunt (and other wild animals) and walked along our local pier. Both G and M have both met up with friends “in real life” for the first time since March and I’ve been brave enough to venture out a little more than I have done in months. The week has been filled with laughter, adventure and some hot weather stroppiness as well as building more memories and revisiting old familiar haunts too.
New York now seems like a distant memory and nothing beats being able to look back at so many photos from the time we spent together. The below images are a selection taken by Mike, me and M:
Another year gone, another year making memories that we can’t share and another year missing you. It hardly seems possible that it’s 15 years this year and yet it is.
Just a few photos to capture our wonderful short break in Berlin – filled with lots of fun, lots of walking, lots of history and lots of delicious food. A great trip making some fantastic memories:
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