Category Archives: Personal

1999

20 years ago the world was on the cusp of the new millennium. Fears were high about the possible fallout from Y2K and the dreaded millennium bug, and my Mum was not alone in stocking her under-the-stairs cupboard with enough dried goods and bottled water to see the family survive for months if the very worst actually happened. Films “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace”, “The Sixth Sense” and “American Beauty” hit the big screen and we found ourselves singing and dancing along to “Tragedy”, “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, “Mambo No. 5” or even “Baby One More Time”. It was a time of excitement as we ventured into that new era with anticipation for everything that the 21st century might bring.

20 years ago Mike and I embarked on a new adventure that was all our own. Mike had moved almost everything he owned across continents, we had bought our first house, faced – and survived – the first big challenge of life with my T1D and, on December 18th 1999, we committed to loving each other and living together for the rest of our lives. We trusted that that commitment would bring with it much happiness, but knew that we would inevitably face challenges and sorrow too, which we would survive and could survive by being there for one another. Our vows “…for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health…” have been tested perhaps far more than we could even imagine, but we have come through the harshest of fires and are much stronger for it.

20 years ago we celebrated our wedding surrounded by our family and friends from near and far, and even though several of those who were with us then are no longer with us, we have precious memories to remind us of their presence when we started life together. Our wedding was very much a family affair. We were married in the breath-taking beauty of our local Cathedral and were blessed to have friends from my time with the Girls’ choir there performing integral roles in the ceremony – from the Canon marrying us, to the Organist playing, the Choir providing the music and the Head Verger adding and lighting tens of tealight candles before the service to bring an extra touch of magic. Our amazing vintage car was provided and driven by the father of someone who was at school with me and a friend of my Aunt made our stunning wedding cake. Our reception venue was decorated by my bridesmaid’s mother and friends of my parents provided a Dickensian feel with their wonderful singing of popular Christmas carols before our evening reception began.

20 years on, we are not the fresh-faced youngsters we were then. Life has taken us on journeys that we never imagined would be part of our future and has, at times, battered us to the point when it would have been so much easier to just crawl under the duvet and hide, rather than face it head-on. We have weathered every storm that has come our way and somehow found a way to absolutely dance in the rain. We are stronger and braver together than we would ever have been as our separate parts – 20 years of life experienced together will do that for you.

20 years on, I am grateful for every moment we have shared. Neither of us is perfect – far from it indeed – but somehow we’ve made it work. We’ve laughed together, loved together and grieved together. We have 2 wonderful children – most of the time – and life is good.

Happy 20th anniversary Mike. Love you always and here’s to 20 more!

Sweet Sixteen

We did, of course, always know that this day would come, but even so, how is it that my eldest baby turns 16 today?

When I look back at the first 16 years of her life, they have not been as easy as any of us imagined or would have wished for when we first held her in our arms. I don’t think our wishes at that moment in time were for anything more than a healthy baby and a happy childhood filled with rich experiences and every opportunity we could offer her. We were determined to encourage that newborn to try her hand at anything she wanted and to reach for her dreams with a belief that she could achieve them.

It’s no surprise that life got somewhat in the way of those plans, what with the advent of her own unexpected health challenges, let alone the more demanding ones of her baby brother, and yet we continue to tell her to shoot for the stars in whatever she does. Fear and anxiety have plagued her over the last couple of years, and yet she keeps going, hopefully knowing that Mike and I have her back and will be there to not only support her, but to walk every step of her journey with her as well as pick her up and carry her if she needs us to.

To say we’re proud of G would be an understatement. Our funny, generous, gorgeous girlie may be able to throw the monster of all teenage tantrums at times – her 2 year old self had nothing on her now – but she has an incredibly gentle and beautiful spirit. She may find the stress of exams overwhelming, but she perseveres with her studies and loves nothing more than curling up with a good book or listening to music in her downtime. Her passion to dance is inspiring and she finds a true release through her movements that you can see reflected in the joy that crosses her face every time she performs, be that on stage or in the safety of her own bedroom.

As I sit here tonight, what do I wish for the next 16 years and beyond? I wish her health and happiness and a future that’s filled with dreams, just as we did when she was born. I wish her friends as well as family that will love her and support her, no matter what, and a home that’s filled with love, even when tears and anxieties overwhelm. I wish her a career that’s fulfilling and satisfying, even though she has no idea what she wants to do as yet. Most of all, I wish her every confidence to be her; to be true to who she is and to always be able to stand up for herself and for others.

Sweet 16th birthday sweetheart, we all love you very much xxx

A quiet birthday

No sooner have we just about stopped celebrating my Mum’s 70th birthday (there are a couple  more presents to enjoy over the next few weeks), but it’s time for Mike’s birthday – and on a Tuesday of all days. Tuesday has to been one of the worst days to celebrate a birthday in our household – M has his dyslexia lesson after school, G has an hour’s tutoring to prep her for her GCSEs and we head to our local swimming pool for our half hour session between 8.30 and 9pm; and it’s pretty much non-stop until bed.

So, instead of even attempting a meal out or raucous party night, we had a rather low-key celebration over the weekend with a scrumptious buffet-style spread and bottle of wine for the adults in front of Strictly on Saturday and marked the occasion that way.

Happy birthday Mike – we love you very much xxx

World Mental Health Day 2019

When I realised that this year’s World Mental Health Day was focusing on the subject of suicide and suicide prevention, I paused. I wasn’t sure that this was an area that I could write about knowledgeably and, in fact, even as I write this blog post now, I’ve got a constant thought in the back of my mind that it could be just as easy to press “delete” as it would be to press “publish” when I’ve reached the end of my musings.

I’ll be honest, suicide is not a tragedy that we’ve had to deal with firsthand. I know friends and colleagues whose families have been shaken to their very core because of the unexpected and sudden death of a loved one, but I can’t pretend to understand just how difficult it is to come to terms with that death, deal with the impact of it or find a way to somehow carry on with life “as normal”.

Can I understand what leads someone to believe that death is the only answer to their problems? Possibly.

I’ve never been in the position to feel that there is no other escape, but my own experiences with depression over the years due to my T1D, following the traumatic birth of M and the massive mental health impact of workplace bullying do perhaps give me a slight glimpse of how frighteningly easy it is to spiral downwards into the darkest of places and not know how to climb back out of that hole. Sadly, it’s been a truth we’ve also had to face with M in times when he has struggled to come to terms with the reality of his chronic illness and all the consequences that come with that; and we’ve watched G battle to overcome the challenges of having a sibling with health challenges. I’ve written about these experiences and how they’ve affected me, G and M many times and you can find those posts through searching “mental health” or “bullying” on my blog.

Today I saw this image posted on social media by our local NICU ward, a place I know well after the births of both G and M, and it perfectly encapsulates everything we should be teaching our young people about their own mental health: that no emotion should ever be considered to be wrong and, most importantly, that it’s okay to not feel okay.

#HumboldtStrong

12 months ago we #putoursticksout as the ice hockey community around the world were united with that in Canada in grieving the tragedy of the bus crash that took the lives of 16 young people, their coaches and advisors and forever changed the lives of their families as well as those of the 13 survivors from the Humboldt Broncos hockey team.

This was the horrific embodiment of every parent’s worst nightmare and it really struck a chord deep within me that I still feel today. In the last year, I have continued to follow the stories of that night and the recovery of those who survived the crash, celebrating with them every small step along the way. This devastating event has been heartbreaking, but has also seen incredible moments of inspiration: Green Shirt Day was inspired by the decision by one player, Logan Boulet, that he wanted to register as an organ donor and in telling his parents that that was his choice should anything happen, helped save 6 lives even as his was lost.

Today our sticks might not be out, but our thoughts are with those 29 families forever impacted by those events and we continue to hope and pray for healing for them.

#WeareHumboldtStrong

Welcome to 2019

It feels a little strange to be putting fingers to the keyboard and sharing news with you all once again. Since the last time I wrote, we’ve celebrated Christmas, seen in the New Year, made some big decisions about future plans and the children have headed back to school. Mike kicked off the New Year in style – something I’ll share more about in my next post – as part of our family commitment for 2019.

To be honest I was glad to see the back of 2018, which had challenged us all from almost the beginning of the year, thanks to a nasty bout of Aussie ‘flu and…well…everything else that then followed on from that. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad and there were also lots of highlights from our year to celebrate too. Unfortunately and almost unbelievably, 2018 finished in much the same way it started with the sad news that one of my Godmothers passed away just before Christmas and 2019 obviously didn’t get the memo that it needed to improve on our experiences and kicked off with further news of ill-health for both friends and family.

However, I’ve learned some important lessons in 2018 and will be taking them forward into our New Year. I have some wonderful freefrom finds to share amongst other news and I’ve no doubt there will be discoveries and adventures to write about as 2019 unfurls.

Here’s to a year of discovery and wonder for us all.

Supporting local business

As Christmas fast approaches, we are all in that mode of frantically searching high and low for the perfect presents for our loved ones, or, at very least, the best price for whatever it is they want. My two are complete opposites when it comes to writing their Christmas wish lists: M knows exactly what he wants, be it the latest computer console and games (PS4 and Fortnite), musical instrument (electric bass guitar plus amp) or the slightly more random Tempur mattress (just don’t ask). Whilst these all come with a significant price tag and the ongoing conversation about having any one of them as a joint Christmas/birthday present, at least we know what to look for, although I’m not convinced he’d be that happy if all he got was a new mattress!

G, on the other hand, is a little more challenging. For the last couple of years, her list has been small and fairly inexpensive, which is great from a financial perspective, but far more challenging given she’ll be turning 15 just 2 weeks before Christmas and various family members want suggestions for both occasions. Having given the best idea to my Mum, I’m not quite sure what Santa will find to leave in her stocking this year, but hopefully with some hard work, heavy head-scratching and even brainstorming, we’ll get there in the end.

One of things that I love to support is local business whenever possible and I’m sure I’m not the only person to have spotted the memes on social media asking folks to consider buying from small, local businesses at this time of year to find something truly unique when it comes to gifts. We’ve been doing our bit to support our local business community for at least 10 years and love discovering new opportunities to do so along the way. We started with buying our weekly groceries from our local food co-op, who source local meats, dairy products, fruit and vegetables, baked goods and even ready meals and deliver to our door. They work very much in the same way as some of the bigger names in this market, but with all the added benefits of locally grown and produced seasonal products, thus reducing our carbon footprint as much as possible. Our nearest big city has an active fruit and vegetable market too and so they can also offer the more “exotic” items, such as bananas, which means we’re not heading to a big chain supermarket for just a handful of groceries too often.

Over the last 15 months, we’ve been supporting another local enterprise and one which is bringing great health benefits to us all. A local farm has converted one of its unused buildings into an environmentally friendly swimming pool, using water from its own bore-hole and heated by burning grass grown on the farm. It has a limited occupancy due its size and so rents the pool out on a private basis to small groups, who can book a regular time slot to spend there swimming. Every Tuesday evening at 8.30pm, our family can usually be found eagerly splashing into the pool, ready and raring to go for 30 minutes swimming time. It is conveniently close to us – just 10 minutes from home by car -, impeccably kept and we have developed a passing acquaintance with the 2 groups, 1 family and 1 a group of friends, who swim in the slots before us. We are allowed access to the spacious changing rooms for the 15 mins before and after our slot and despite my fears that M and G would dawdle, they both manage to get themselves showered, changed, dressed and ready to go by 9.15pm at the latest.

Even better, not only does this local farm provide this fantastic facility which has seen M’s confidence in his swimming skills soar whilst G, but we are also able to buy fresh eggs from the farm door on an honesty box system and their Christmas offerings include beef and turkey. I have long said that we have the best of all worlds where we live, being just 8 miles from the centre of a vibrant city with amazing theatres, music venues and sports stadiums, but having a cottage on the edge of farmland and being able to see fields and green spaces for miles. The children have grown up with a dairy farm just across the road and are accustomed to seeing cows or sheep in the field next door whilst they’re bouncing on the trampoline in our “paddock”. I love being able to access so many things so easily, even the coastline is just 20 minutes away, and truly appreciate and understand just how lucky we are. Supporting the small, local businesses that are trying to survive and thrive in challenging times is just one way we can help our local community continue to grow for years to come…and hopefully will help me source some great presents for G in time for December!