Tag Archives: special needs parents

The Power of Sunflowers

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Nothing brightens up a gloomy day like a beautiful sunflower. Tall, majestic and reaching for the sun, its bright yellow colour is sure to cheer up even the darkest of moments. There really is just something intrinsically cheery about this flower to my mind; but did you know just how powerful sunflowers can be?

I am, of course, not talking about the flower itself, but rather the incredible Hidden Disabilities Sunflower scheme, launched in 2016 in response to a query from Gatwick Airport as to how to better its help to travellers passing through its doors and since adopted by numerous airports, supermarkets and other stores and businesses across the UK as well as slowly being recognised worldwide. The scheme uses bright green lanyards covered with sunflowers to indicate that the wearer has a hidden disability and therefore might need additional support, time or space to use that particular facility. All done in a subtle yet visible way.

We hadn’t engaged with the sunflower scheme previously, but given G’s recent challenges with panic attacks and anxiety as well as M’s ongoing health issues and his own anxieties when it comes to travelling with his medicines and foods, the time finally seemed right to give the sunflower lanyards a go during our Christmas trip to New York. I requested them through the Heathrow airport website and was delighted with how promptly they arrived with us with no hassle. They formed a part of the big reveal on Christmas day and both children were wonderfully willing to wear them as we travelled with G having to be reminded to remove hers once we reached our hotel in NYC.

The support given throughout the airport was fantastic and extremely thoughtfully and carefully given. The Virgin Atlantic staff at check-in approached Mike and I to see what additional help we might need, but didn’t ask questions in front of either G or M. Our journey through security was remarkably easy as the airport security staff opened a new lane for us to go through without comment and were then careful to minimise the examination of M’s medicines and the food that we were having to carry with us. I was impressed with just how well all the staff working at Heathrow appeared to have been trained and how they offered us help and support without making a fuss.

The only problem encountered was that M found the material of the lanyard uncomfortable to wear, complaining it irritated his neck, so instead I attached it to his backpack, which made it less easy to spot on a first glance. I’m sure that he will not be the only person who will struggle with this because of sensory issues and so was glad to be able to give some constructive feedback to what is otherwise a fantastic scheme. Our sunflowers were unquestionably powerful during our Boxing Day adventures and will no doubt be something we make use of again the next time we travel.

Our Virgin Atlantic Experience

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There’s been a lot of criticism across social media over the last few months about the attitude of Virgin Atlantic towards passengers with food allergies on their flights, in particular relating to those travelling with nut allergies. Now, I can’t comment on how they perform in those situations as we are fortunate to have no known nut allergies, though truthfully M hasn’t had a peanut in years, so we wouldn’t know if he is allergic or not. However, I was interested to see how they would do when it came to the allergy requirements of G and M, especially given our amazing experience when we flew with them to Florida in 2014.

Our first challenge was having some safe milk for M to drink for breakfast in the Heathrow airport lounge. Unlike the fantastic V-room at Gatwick, who stocked B-free bread for toast and brought in 2 cartons of rice milk just for M and G, the Heathrow lounge was less able to help and seemingly less willing to try, simply saying that their staff wouldn’t be able to bring the rice milk through security, so it was up to us to provide it if we could. I was extremely frustrated by this response when I received it, but rather than sit and moan about their inability to be as helpful as I would have liked, instead decided to contact M’s consultant at our local hospital to ask if he would write an updated medical letter stating that we needed to carry a number of safe food items through security for M. Less than 2 weeks after my request, 2 copies of that letter landed through our door and we were easily able to walk through security with the carton of rice milk in our hand luggage without issue once the letter had been seen. I always recommend carrying medical letters and copies of prescriptions when you travel and this experience proved once again, just how valuable that can be.

Despite that rocky start, I hoped things could only improve and as we had booked our complete holiday through Virgin, I had already asked that notes be added to our booking to state that both children had food allergies. I also updated our booking confirmation online with a request that G and M had the gluten-free meals and followed that up with an email noting that both also needed to be dairy-free if possible. I mentioned that M ideally needed to avoid egg and soya if it was at all possible, but knew this was a lot to ask and simply leaned on the truism that you never know what’s possible until you ask.

The meals that arrived with us for both flights were both gluten- and dairy-free, but included a couple of items for M that contained a small amount of egg. This time there was no mix up with meals going to the wrong seats and whilst the meals offered were not exactly what G would have chosen, M tucked in wherever he could. As always both of their backpacks, and mine, were well-stocked with some safe snacks to supplement what was provided and so we were able to muddle through quite successfully.

 

Our Virgin Atlantic experience is one that I would definitely count as a success and neither child, M in particular, suffered any fallout from what they ate on the flights. Not only were the cabin crew diligent with what snacks and drinks they offered to them, but they were also fantastic in helping us celebrate G’s 16th birthday for just a little bit longer and in great style, with a visit to the cockpit for both children on our flight to New York and a birthday present of some “lounge wear” (pyjamas to you and me) and some chocolate on the way home.

Polar Dip

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Despite the assertions of some Canadian friends that it couldn’t be a “real” polar bear dip without having to break some ice, in the middle of December Mike decided to take part in our local New Year’s Day polar swim. With just a smidge over 2 weeks to prepare for this madness, you wouldn’t be blamed if you thought Mike was completely mad – believe me when I say it was something that went through my mind too – but the reason for it is actually a fantastic one.

You have all heard me talk a lot about the amazing charity, Over The Wall, who provides free therapeutic camps for children with serious health challenges as well as their siblings and families. G and M have been fortunate enough to go to these camps twice each over the last 3 years and the difference it has made to them both is incredible. Since G’s first trip to the South Siblings Camp in 2016, we have taken every opportunity we’ve been able to find to raise awareness and funds for them – from M’s presentation at school to G’s sponsored hair-cut. I’ve talked to more people than I can even begin to count about just how special this charity is and in the last year have been delighted that 2 fellow EGID Mums were successful in their applications for camps too.

2019 marks 20 years since OTW’s first camp in the UK and they are looking to mark that anniversary by being able to send 1,000 children, young people and families to one of their camps. We want to help them achieve that goal, knowing from firsthand experience just how invaluable their camps truly are, and will be spending the year finding new ways to support them just as they have supported G and M.

And that’s why Mike kicked off our fundraising year in style with his Polar swim. He chose to swim in 9° water for 20 minutes – 1 minute for every year that Over The Wall is celebrating this year – and we set a tentative target of £200. Thanks to the generosity of friends and family, Mike not only more than managed his New Year’s Day dip, but also raised a fantastic £223!

If you’re able to give even a small amount, I know that Over The Wall will make very good use of it and you will be helping enrich the lives of young people living with health challenges, just like G and M. You can donate via their special 20 years donation page here.

#NEAW2018: This is where it begins!

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Over the last few years since we received M’s diagnosis of an Eosinophilic Gastro-Intestinal Disorder (EGID), I’ve approached National Eosinophil Awareness Week (NEAW) in a myriad of different ways. As NEAW 2018 has been approaching, I’ve been racking my brain trying to decide on the best way to talk about EGID for another year. I started posting my daily insights via my social media channels at the beginning of May, trying to highlight each day a different aspect of life with EGID along with a photo or image that captures the sentiment as best I can; we will almost inevitably spend the week “eating like M” again, though Mike might find that more of a challenge than me as he will be away on business for at least a small part of this week; and I will be attempting to post daily blogs during the week itself, sharing just a little of what our journey with EGID is really like.

In the past I’ve tried to come up with different ways to present my week’s worth of daily blogs, but with having just changed jobs and a busy few months at home, this year I decided to fall back on the format I chose 3 years ago and follow the NEAW theme itself, using the word E-D-U-C-A-T-E as illustrated above to inspire my posts each day.

And, as always, all that I ask is that you bear with me for the week ahead and read as many of the posts as you can. If you can also share them on to help spread the word about EGID, then you’ll be supporting families like ours and those of so many we know to raise awareness as much as we possibly can. The message is get out is that we’re working together, across the world, to make a difference and hopefully working towards finding a cure.

Brave New World

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If you’re on any social media platform, be it Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, the chances are that your timeline will have been flooded this week with the ever popular first day photos like this one, on what an old friend humourously terms “National Stand in Front of your Door Day”. The start of every new school year always brings a list of tasks that need to be completed, which includes for us more than just name-labelling the new school uniform and buying huge amounts of school stationery that will potentially have disappeared by the end of the first week, but also making sure that we’ve dotted the “i”s and crossed every single “t” relating to the health needs of both children.

This year felt like even more of a challenge as M moves up into the same secondary school as his big sister and we find ourselves dealing with the reality of different teachers for every subject, a year group that’s bigger than the whole of his junior school and the need to educate the school in the world of M. The good news is that having reached the end of the first week, things have not gone horribly wrong and on the whole, it has all been a huge success. Every evening, M and I have looked through his timetable for the next day to discuss what he might need to do to make sure all his needs are being met as they need to be. I was as delighted as he was to discover that his educational needs have been noted on the tutor group register and so his teachers are aware that he needs extra support in relation to his Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. We still need to iron out the finer details of note-taking in class and how he prepares his homework for each lesson, but our unexpected find of yellow-tinted sunglasses whilst on our summer holiday have been an added bonus to helping him read the worksheets he’s given.

Disappointingly, though not altogether surprisingly, the level of awareness about his EGID and food restrictions has not been what we hoped it might be, but whilst my hopes were high, my expectations were truthfully quite low and we knew there would be work to be done in this area. He went to the Student Services with his medicines on the first day and by day 2 was confident enough to ask for a set of yellow cards, which gives him permission to leave class early to take them, jump to the front of the queue with 2 friends when it comes to lunchtime and go to the toilet whenever he needs to without having to wait and ask permission. Our biggest challenge was the one we feared it might be, that of the Food and Textiles classes that he will be taking this year. His cookery teacher was not aware of his dietary restrictions or just how important avoiding the cross-contamination risk is for M and so I’m waiting to talk to her after school on Friday to discuss just how we go forward with the lessons**. We are all keen for him to take these lessons and learn to cook, but Mike and I are very aware of the need to protect his fragile mental health and so will be working hard to make sure the cookery lessons don’t become a challenge too far for him.

As for G, my big girlie quietly and confidently started in Year 9 and is looking forward to the year ahead. She’s a little anxious already about making her GCSE choices later this year, but we have been spending time reassuring her that she won’t have to make those decisions on her own and that we will help and support her every step of the way, as will the school and her teachers. This year is a little different for G as they are now splitting a number of her classes into sets and her hard work over the last couple of years has stood her in good stead as she has been placed in the top 2 sets for almost all subjects.

It really is a step into a brave new world for the whole family and I can’t wait to see what the year ahead will bring for us all.

** So that conversation has happened today and I’m delighted to say was a really positive one. Mrs J has agreed that M can use ingredients and adapted recipes that are safe for him wherever possible and will work at his own station to help reduce the cross-contamination risks for him. She is as keen as we are to make the lessons a positive experience for him and will be regularly touching base with me to make sure we’re all getting it right.

“This is my one small step, this is my walk on the moon”

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I’m not quite sure how this happened. Two years ago marked the end of G’s Junior school career and now we find ourselves at the cusp of a new adventure for us all as M’s time at the Juniors similarly draws to an end. The past 4 years have been a true roller-coaster ride and the staff at our wonderful village school have been there for every step of the journey. From the moment we stepped through their doors, they have embraced the challenges of having M in the school and provided the whole family with the support we’ve needed to get the children through all those ups and downs relatively unscathed.

In some ways, the last 6 months have been the toughest of his school career, even more so than the NG-tube and broken leg we’ve dealt with in that time. He wasn’t able to attend his Year 6 camp because of poor health, but he found the joy in spending the day there getting muddy with his friends instead. We survived the stresses of SATS and celebrated in style last weekend when we found out just how well he did in passing them all. We’ve enjoyed the Year 6 production of The Wizard of Oz and are finally winding down to the Leavers’ Service at the end of the week.

This comment in his end of year report from his class teacher reflects the wonderful young man he is growing up to be:

“He is an inspiration to his peers that in spite of his health issues, he participates fully in everything and does not use his illness as an excuse not to try….Thank you M, for being such a valuable member of the class this year. You contribute more than perhaps you realise!”

As we wave goodbye to the end of an incredible era, there will be more than one tear shed along the way, but we are preparing to embark on the next big adventure, building on the incredible foundation that has been put in place with great care, love and consideration over the last few years:

NEAW 2017 – Living with the unknown

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2017 marks our 5th National Eosinophil Awareness Week and yet, in many ways and for many reasons, this year may be one of our quietest yet. One of those reasons is that over the last 12 months, we have experienced a significant shift in the way that M’s doctors view his diagnosis and that change, along with the inevitable amount of growing up that is going on in our household at the moment, means that life has become about a lot more than just the label we’ve been handed to explain his medical condition. I’ll be honest, that transitioning medical opinion has been difficult to live with because it has challenged the very way we’ve coped with the last 11 years of our life and has demanded that we examine closely all of those decisions we’ve made believing them to be in the best interests of both our children and not just M. It has made us sit back and question whether we’ve been choosing and doing the right thing.

This seismic shift that we’ve been experiencing is not isolated to our experiences or even to our part of the world, but rather appears to be part of a nationwide change in the understanding, and even the diagnosis, of Eosinophilic disorders themselves. As a parent to a child with this diagnosis, the prospect of moving away from recognising Eosinophilic Disease as a genuine medical condition is a daunting one. Whatever title you want to attach to this little-recognised health issue, the hard facts are that those diagnosed with it are struggling and suffering on a daily basis and removing the validity of its name does not, and will not, remove the reality of the problem itself. The steps we have taken over the last 4 years since diagnosis have not always been easy ones, but without a shadow of a doubt, they have been ones that have seen much improved health for M at times when we have had to make what are unquestionably the toughest of choices.

Similarly, we are not the only family who has found itself moving away from the care provided by GOSH over the last couple of years – some have moved by choice, whilst others have had little or no say in the matter. In our case, our GOSH consultant and dietitian recommended we sought local input into his care because they had reached a point where they could find no explanation for why his body reacts as it does and felt that a fresh pair of eyes might be able to give us different insight into how to go on from here. The last 8 months have been extremely challenging for us all as our local consultant has made suggestions that we are not always 100% on board with and it has taken unbelievable courage on the part of all in our family to even agree to try new things that no-one really knows will succeed in the long run. The jury is still out on whether we are currently heading in the right direction with his care and truthfully only time will tell whether the decisions we are making this time round are the right ones or not.

Without any funded research into the complexities of gastrointestinal disorders, individuals like M will always be at the mercy of what can only be seen as an experimental approach, as diet, medicines and psychology are discussed and considered and tweaked to produce the best possible outcome on very much a “trial and error” basis. In our experience, we know that food plays a huge part in the way that M’s body behaves and the medicines he’s currently on appear to be doing their job of dampening down the body’s reactions to everything he eats. Likewise, we agree that there is a psychological element to it all and have had our concerns about the psychological impact of a chronic illness on his mental well-being. Sadly, where we have currently agreed to disagree with the medics is whether the psychology plays a bigger part than the physiology when it comes to M’s day-to-day health and responses. Yes, we know that stress can wreak havoc on the digestive system of just about everyone, but we will not be swayed in our belief that it is more than that for M. The hard facts of our 11 years with M show us that his health challenge is unquestionably a physical one and we will continue to fight for greater understanding of Eosinophilic disorders and how they affect everyday living for those diagnosed with them.

This week is about raising awareness of EGID and sharing our experiences – the good, the bad and the ugly – of living with it. For us, and for the families we’ve got to know who live with it, EGID is a part of our lives that we have to accept and learn to come to terms with, no matter what discussion is being had in the medical world. It might not be clear whether EGID is in itself the final diagnosis, or if it is simply part and parcel of a larger problem that is, as yet, unknown, but it is our reality and it shapes every step that we take.

This year we have decided to continue our support of the amazing charity, Over The Wall and their camps. If you’re able to donate even a very small amount, please follow this link to my Virgin Money Giving Page where your donation will help more children living with chronic illness like G and M by giving them and their families a chance to enjoy some much-needed time away from it all.

#NEAW2017

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May 8th: No matter what’s going on, there’s no escaping #EGID or leaving it at home, even for one day. For all those facing exams over the coming weeks, their EGID will be just one more challenge that they have to survive.

Today, this is for M – and his schoolmates and the other Year 6s across the country who are taking their SATs this week. We’re so proud of you: of the obstacles you’ve already overcome and your determination to succeed. Just remember, the results really don’t matter.

You know you’re an Allergy Mum when…

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I often flick through those “You know you’re a…” memes and have a quiet giggle to myself. I love the funny images that reflect the reality of a certain situation and I’m happy to admit that I do have a sense of humour about the jokes that poke gentle fun at the world’s response to the seemingly meteoric rise in food allergies in the past few years. In my opinion, and I willingly accept there will be many who don’t agree with me, life’s too short to not be able to laugh a little and find humour in what can be incredibly challenging situations. I know how difficult life with allergies can be and that ability to smile in the face of adversity is often what gets me through the hardest of times.

The truth is that when you’re an allergy parent you never really get the day off, which is why I found myself having to write this post in the midst of relaying tales of our recent trip to New York. It was a holiday to celebrate my milestone birthday and yet, just as I did when we had our short trip to Italy last year, I found myself snapping photos right, left and centre img_3430whenever I came across any food or drink that would be suitable for either of the children. The thing is that for once in my life I wasn’t actively looking for safe food options, but the discovery of that first gluten-free sandwich triggered a level of excitement that would be completely incomprehensible to anyone other than those walking the very same journey that we do. And no sooner had I discovered that first little gem, than I started looking everywhere to see just how well G and M would be catered for should we find ourselves in the Big Apple in the next few years.

Our trip to see the most well-known lady of the USA was also the site of this unexpected windfall in meeting dietary requirements. Having climbed our way to the top of the Statue of Liberty, we headed on to Ellis Island, where we decided to stop for lunch before exploring everything on offer in this former immigration inspection station. We had opted for a burger each as it was a cold and wintry February day and whilst Mike was placing our order at the counter, I took to the fridges to pick out our drinks. img_1449There, nestling amongst the other cold food options available, was this amazing gluten-free ham and swiss cheese roll and I was so impressed that I just had to take a snap. I’ve commented so many times on how difficult it can be to locate the gluten-free offering in cafes and coffee shops in the UK, so to discover this one so prominently on display and clearly labelled was just fantastic. Obviously, I really can’t comment on whether it tasted good or not, though I can assure you that the burgers Mike and I had were delicious, but to even have the option so readily available was a real breath of fresh air.

From that point on, my eagerness to see what other allergy-friendly offerings were available was back to its normal level and whilst I didn’t actively seek out restaurants that could serve freefrom alternatives, I kept my Allergy Mum eagle eyes on red alert to see what I could spot on our travels around this vibrant city. Our quick stop at Eataly to find a drink and small snack after a long afternoon at the 9/11 Memorial museum revealed some sheep’s milk and cheese for those looking for dairy-free alternatives, but disappointingly we couldn’t spot any of the gluten-free goodies we had unearthed on our Italian trip last year.

I didn’t spot many allergy-friendly menu items as we ate out in several of the many restaurants on offer, but we were delighted to spot a couple of gluten-free options at what was, without a doubt, my favourite restaurant of the trip. The fantastic Ellen’s Stardust Diner is a 50s themed diner that combines classic all-American dishes with amazing live entertainment. As you sit to enjoy your meal, you are serenaded by your talented waiter or waitress and their fellow servers. The staff members are all looking to break onto Broadway whilst working at the diner, which understands not only their need to supplement their income and take further performance classes, but also allows them to accept those last-minute audition opportunities whenever they appear. The food is good, but it’s the staff who really make this a dining experience like no other. Discovering a couple of gluten-free meals was a real treat, though I’m not sure they could really cater for the more complicated needs of a certain young member of our household.

However, our best finds came on a very wet, grey and miserable Monday afternoon as we trudged across the city towards the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum. We needed to grab a light lunch before we reached our final destination and, as Mike had been hankering for a proper bagel New York-style, stopped at 2 unassuming locations to find what we had been looking for. As well as eventually finding a great deli serving some delicious lunch foods, we also discovered a veritable Aladdin’s cave of freefrom goodies. From the unbelievable number of allergy-friendly cereals, bread, frozen foods and milks on sale at the impressively named Food Emporium on West 43rd Street and the added delights of camel milk and coconut or almond milk ice cream at Sunac Natural Market on West 42nd Street, there was enough to satisfy the cravings of even the pickiest of allergy tourists. There may not have been a huge variety of options for M, but we did find some great and different types of rice for him and I know G would have been hard pressed to choose from the wide selection of gluten- and dairy-free foods that we found between these 2 great spots.

And so, in the tradition of all those Allergy parent memes that are out there….

You know you’re an Allergy Mum when your holiday photo album looks like this!