Tag Archives: love

“Magic never dies. It merely fades away.”

This time last week one of my heroes died. I was saddened to hear that Discworld-creator and Alzheimer’s advocate, author Sir Terry Pratchett OBE had sadly lost his battle against this unrelenting disease and I was left with the sense that our world had become just a little less colourful as a result. With typical Pratchett-esque humour, a series of tweets, written in his own incomparable style, announced his passing, taking a lead from one of my favourite of his characters, Death:

AT LAST, SIR TERRY, WE MUST WALK TOGETHER.

— Terry Pratchett 🖤 🤍 (@terryandrob) March 12, 2015

Terry took Death’s arm and followed him through the doors and on to the black desert under the endless night.

— Terry Pratchett 🖤 🤍 (@terryandrob) March 12, 2015

The End.

— Terry Pratchett 🖤 🤍 (@terryandrob) March 12, 2015

I first discovered the Discworld and its diverse cast of characters in the late 1980s and quickly found myself reading, and re-reading, his books as I waited, often impatiently, for the next one to be published. My Dad and I shared a love for the Discworld and my Mum often commented that she knew when either of us was reading one of Pratchett’s books as they caused us both to laugh out loud, something no other author had ever done. Our joint appreciation for Pratchett’s fantasy world is one of my fondest memories and even now, I find myself transported back 20 years, to times spent sharing our newest discoveries in his latest novel whenever I revisit these tales these days.

It’s difficult to explain what made Terry Pratchett’s books just so un-put-downable to me. His clever play on words frequently made me laugh out loud – who can forget Twoflowers’ explanation of an “Inn-sewer-ants-polly-sea” in “The Colour of Magic“? His unashamed use of characters or plots from other authors was delightfully skilled – and the 3 Witches in Shakespeare’s Macbeth were not a patch on Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and naive Magrat Garlick in “Wyrd Sisters“. His sense of humour was evident in almost every word he wrote. I loved nothing more than waiting to see the plot twists and turns that each new storyline would take and spotting the sometimes obvious, sometimes more oblique references to popular culture. And in every step of my adult life; be it at university, in the work-place, waiting at the school gates or in our EGID world, he has oft become the common bond that starts a friendship or fills a gap in the conversation.

In the days following his death, Terry Pratchett’s fans have given him tribute by taking ideas from his books to create a fitting memorial. The first was a petition asking Death to “Reinstate Terry Pratchett” because Terry himself said that “There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this” and already nearly 30,000 people have added their names to this request.

The second took an idea from his 33rd Discworld novel, “Going Postal”, which saw the advent of a communication system, somewhat comparable to the internet. When a key character dies, a message bearing his name is sent down the lines on an unending journey to ensure that it is kept alive indefinitely because “A man is not dead while his name is still spoken.” Keen Pratchett fans have developed code that is being embedded on websites to ensure that his name is similarly forever encoded on the internet.

In the past few days, I have started to revisit his books, many of which reside on my book-shelves, and have found myself to be once again amongst old, familiar friends. The humour never fades and with each reading, I discover a small nuance that I hadn’t noticed before. Rincewind, Granny Weatherwax, Captain Vimes and the Discworld have been a part of my life for nearly 30 years and I look forward to introducing both G and M to these adventures in the not-too-distant future.

“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…”

– Reaper Man

Photographic evidence

9th celebrations

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“Sometimes,” said Pooh, “the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”

– AA Milne

I can hardly believe our beautiful, cheeky and courageous little man has turned 9. He continues to amaze us and I have no doubt that this year, just as in years past, he will carry on stepping out bravely with his indomitable spirit intact. Happy birthday little bean – we love you.

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…to this

Piece of cake

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These photos are of the supplies I needed to create this year’s birthday cake masterpiece for Master M as, after all, this had to be a birthday cake like no other I’ve ever baked before. In the same way that I had discussed my plans for the food we would serve at their Cluedo party with M, we sat together to talk about the various options for his birthday cake. I could bake a “normal” cake for him to give to his friends, I could use polystyrene dummy cakes to create an authentic-looking, but totally M-friendly cake or we could try something completely different. A friend had suggested using small bottles of 7-up to create a tiered cake and then giving every party guest a bottle to take home, which I thought an inspired idea as it’s one of the few things M has been able to enjoy since his NG-tube was passed, but M disagreed. He preferred the idea of the polystyrene “fake” cakes and we headed off to the shops over half-term to source the cakes, decide how many tiers he wanted and get all the art supplies I might need.

Every year I try to create birthday cakes that either echo the themes of the parties themselves, be that mini-golf, magic or minions; or that are innovative and something the children have never seen before, such as last year’s pinata cake for G. This year’s Cluedo theme offered me a wealth of ideas and I just needed to decide how to put them into action. I settled on a black base layer and ever-grateful to avoid the nightmare of icing a free-from cake, attacked our 3 tiers with a sturdy brush and bottle of black paint. “Cakes” fully covered, I liberally sprinkled some silver glitter over them all before the paint dried, positioned the silver 9 on the top and added an emerald green ribbon trim for that touch of old-fashioned glamour and to fit with M’s role as party host, “Captain Emerald”. I stuck the tiers together using PVA glue and then inserted some wooden skewers, just to make sure there was no chance the cake would fall apart before the day itself.

Next came the fun part of adding the decorations. I had previously printed out silhouettes to use for the characters and images for each of the murder weapons and had a number of them left-over after I had prepared the cards for the party itself. Choosing carefully, I glued the weapons to the bottom layer and a selection of characters to the middle layer, making sure I included the image of G’s character, “Countess Pearl”. My final step was to stick Captain Emerald’s silhouette to a piece of black card that I had already covered generously with more silver glitter and added this, leaning against the top-tier of the cake, before leaving it all to dry.

M’s cake sorted, I moved on to the preparation of a cake for G. Much as I had enjoyed exploring the “crafts” side of my personality, this was the moment I’d been waiting for since Christmas. Not so much the baking of a cake, though I love decorating birthday cakes to wow my children, but more because I finally got to use the best Christmas present I had received and one that was completely unexpected. I’ve been drooling over the KitchenAid food mixers for years, imagining one gracing my kitchen counters and last year started saving towards buying one of my own. To my delight, and absolute surprise, my wonderful Mum invested in a Ice-blue model as my Christmas/birthday present and it’s been sitting in the kitchen, taunting me daily with its absolute beauty, whilst I’ve waited for a chance to take it for a test-run. All I can say is thank goodness I needed to whip up 24 G-friendly cupcakes as well as the birthday cake itself as I flew through the first task and loved every moment spent doing it!

My birthday cake challenge was easier this year as although G has allergies of her own, I was able to use eggs, an ingredient I haven’t baked with in over 3 years. I used a simple gluten- and dairy-free recipe and then split the mixture between 5 bowls. Inspired by both the colourful characters in the Cluedo game and a recent episode of Great British Comic Relief Bake-Off, I added 5 different food colourings – 1 to each bowl – and then marbled the cake mix in the baking tins. As I waited for the cakes to bake, I turned to my trusty laptop to search out some ideas for how to decorate G’s Cluedo cake and settled on recreating the board itself out of icing. Working late into the early hours of Sunday morning to finish this final part of the party preparations and when I finally fell into my bed at around 3am, I was delighted with the end results.

The big reveal of my “showstopper” cakes was a huge success. Both G and M were thrilled with their cakes and liked the fact that even though they were completely different, they both fit our Cluedo theme perfectly. The cakes had pride of place at the centre of our Dessert buffet table and were a real talking point for children and parents alike. A job well done, though I’m not rushing to make 2 cakes for the same occasion again any time soon – my nerves just can’t take it!

A Whodunnit birthday!

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In the past 3 months, we’ve conquered Christmas, survived the return to school, managed the mysteries of the NG-tube and, most recently, started to tackle the tricky business of food re-introductions, Now it was time for my biggest challenge yet: M’s birthday party.

As G turned 11 back in December when M and I were in GOSH and we didn’t get to mark it in any great way, I wanted to make sure she could celebrate her day with her friends albeit belatedly. By the time Christmas had passed, the new year was in and we got round to making plans, half-term was fast approaching with M’s birthday hot on its heels. I tentatively suggested we threw a joint party, not at all sure what response I might get and was delighted when they leapt at the chance. Next came the trickier job of agreeing what to do and even though many ideas were bandied around, we struggled to come to a compromise that suited them both. With M keen to do LaserQuest or rock-climbing and G hankering after bowling, a final decision seemed impossible to reach until, in a rare moment of like-mindedness, they put their heads together and came up with the idea of a Cluedo-themed birthday party.

The first step was to set the scene for the murder of Mr Black by choosing enough character names, crime scenes and potential murder weapons to accommodate 16 children. We started with the original lists of the game itself and added to them, ending up with 10 weapons, 10 rooms and 16 characters, which G and M allocated to each of their friends in turn. I designed and then created the invitations to be handed out at school, inviting the children to join in the birthday celebrations for Captain M Emerald and Countess G Pearl.

Naturally, the finer details of exactly how the party would be run were left to me, but I loved the idea of a murder-mystery style party based on this classic board-game and have spent much of the last 4 weeks planning, preparing and perfecting each element of the day. The children had lots of ideas about what they wanted to do and we ended up with a series of games, activities and refreshments that would prove to keep the most picky of 11 year-old girls and most active of 9 year-old boys happy for 2 hours. Each game was attributed to one of our 16 characters, so the guests had the opportunity to test their skills with a Nerf gun at Colonel Mustard’s Shooting range or joined in the pottery painting classes run by Mrs Peacock and Lady Lilac. We wanted the children to still experience the original aim of the game and work out the who, where and how of the murder, so every activity they did gave them the opportunity to reveal more cards to eliminate suspects from their lists. This could be as simple as decorating a cupcake for Reverend Green’s church fundraiser to see 2 cards, or as revolting as delving deep into Mrs White’s giant trifle to pull out another one. Everybody had a chance to try their luck at each of the games and they all had a whale of a time.

As M is still very limited with the foods he is currently able to eat, I decided to avoid a traditional party tea and instead served a dessert buffet, which included pineapple and Foxes glacier mints, both of which are safe for him. He was also involved heavily in the decision-making about which cakes, biscuits and sweets would be on offer to his friends, which meant he was aware of what his friends would be eating and was happy to sit with them and chat as they all helped themselves to the selection of treats. The final party game was “Pass the revolver”, which saw the children completing forfeits to see the final 2 Cluedo cards before they had to reach their conclusions and share the results of their investigations. Nobody successfully worked out all 3 murder cards, though there was a small cohort who managed to work out 2 of the 3 elements correctly. We finished with the traditional rousing renditions of “Happy Birthday” and then sent our guests on their way. Both G and M loved every moment of their Cluedo birthday party and the text messages I’ve since received have assured me that their friends had a great time too. In the words of one of M’s friends, it was “the best birthday party EVER!“

“I like rice…

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..Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.”

– Mich Ehrenborg

I never realised just how daunting food could be until we embarked on our dietary journeys with our children. It might sound ridiculous, but having achieved such a resounding success from M’s move to the elemental diet, the prospect of food reintroductions caused my heart to beat a little faster, my palms to grow a little sweatier and several middle-of-the-night awakenings to contemplate just how the whole process would work. A big part of the problem was the lack of ~~useful~~ any information from the dietetics team about…well about anything I wanted to know. I like to have a clear plan to follow and needed to understand how we would choose which foods to start with, how each food should be prepared, how much to give and how often. The vagaries of sweeping statements such as serve M “a portion”, with no hard and fast details of the specifics drove me insane, but with lots of discussion, frantic e-mailing and a move back to our old and trusted dietitian rather than the one I’d had run-ins with during M’s admission, we finally got the answers we were after.

Courtesy of alternative-doctor.com

The decision was to begin with rice, commonly considered to be hypoallergenic and therefore a great starting place for M. Whilst many children reintroducing foods following the elemental diet might trial potato first, this was one of the known triggers for M’s allergic reactions and so we needed to find a basic food that was likely to be safe. Despite being told that we could comfortably start with a “portion” of rice, I chose instead to take things slow and M had just 1 tablespoon of plain, boiled rice on that first night. He enjoyed his mouthful and, looking forward to having more the next day, carried on somewhat oblivious to the anxious monitoring I was trying desperately to hide. The evening passed without event and we all went to bed happily – well, the rest of the family went to bed happily, I went battling the usual Mummy-paranoia that accompanies anything and everything that involves my children and their welfare.

Courtesy of smartwebsite.ru

Since that day, around 4 weeks ago now, we have been able to gradually increase the amounts of rice M eats each day and have branched out to include rice milk, rice cakes and gluten-free rice cereal – a veritable feast! This week I even managed a rice batter, using rice flour and sparkling water and made some deep-fried rice balls to tantalise his taste buds. M has shown an occasional atopic reaction to the rice as it triggered a rash across his shoulders and back, although the hives have now calmed down as his body has become accustomed to eating once again. Despite this rash, we have seen no reaction in his bowels and are able to count rice as a “safe” food for him. Even better, we have also been able to add chicken to the mix and this week have been trialling pineapple, though the jury is still out as to whether this may be causing a mild behavioural reaction akin to the one we’ve seen him experience before to soya. Assuming all is well with the pineapple, we have plans to trial pork, cucumber and carrot over the coming weeks and may even have time to squeeze in another carbohydrate before we head back to GOSH in April.

E028 – the success story

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Courtesy of http://www.pmmajik.com

When we started this new chapter in M’s life 10 weeks ago, we approached it with the attitude of “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst”. We hoped that the move to an elemental diet, consisting of 1500mls of E028 each day, would bring some much-needed relief to his bowel and body and that, from that recuperation would come a way forward that would improve M’s quality of life. And whilst we were well prepared that there was a chance it might not work; that it might not bring the recovery M desperately needed and that we might have to look to even more extreme measures to reach our end goal of improved health; that wasn’t a prospect we were prepared to spend too much time on, yet. It was far more important to be positive about the route we had chosen, which wasn’t an easy choice to make and had its challenges from the start: be they passing the NG-tube at GOSH or figuring out our new routine at home.

Courtesy of nameonline.net

Despite the roadblocks thrown in our path, we’ve kept plodding on, negotiating our way skilfully around the inevitable melt-downs, tantrums and even those tempers that lead to a tube being pulled out accidentally. We’ve all learned valuable lessons – don’t storm off in a temper following a sibling argument leaving your pump behind being a key one for M – and we’ve survived as a family and, dare I say it, grown stronger as one too. We have laughed, cried and got angry together. We’ve used that laughter to overcome the depths of despair and we’ve focussed on the important things in life. Mike and I have long been a team, since the disastrous surgery on my left eye for diabetic retinopathy 17 years ago just weeks after Mike had moved to the UK and before we were even married. We may not always see eye to eye, but we have grown together and take turns in being the strong one when the other is feeling weighed down by the world. Now we have 2 children who are learning those same lessons and this experience has shown me just how amazingly strong our children are. They’ve coped with all that life has thrown at them and whilst they may have been knocked down occasionally, they’ve learned to pick themselves up, to brush themselves off and to keep going along their paths. The last 10 weeks have seen them grow in their empathy for others and they too have taken turns in being the strong one when faced with adversity.

Courtesy of artiwards.com

The best news of all is that we now know that every exhausted step has been worth it and I’m thrilled to be able to share that, for M, the E028 has been his success story. Within days of the switch to a food-free diet, the near constant diarrhoea that has been the bane of the last 9 years of our lives stopped. Just like that. No magic potions, no magic wands, no tricks and, so far, no looking back. M has become the fun-loving, caring, well-behaved little boy we all knew was hiding somewhere within himself. His joie de vivre has returned and his humorous outlook on life is much more evident. As each day passes, we are slowly and surely making more and more progress and his confidence has grown as evidenced by his abandonment of his daytime reliance on pull-ups for the first time in a year. It’s not been a perfect cure by any stretch of the imagination and his weight is once again giving us, and the medics, cause for concern, but it’s a massive step, a giant leap in the right direction. We are lucky that this proved to be the way forward for M and we are truly grateful for that as we know so many other families who have not found it to be the answer to their health problems and are still battling on.

Meanwhile, the next step is the big one for us: food reintroduction. We need to work on getting food back into M’s diet without upsetting this balance that he has found right now. There’s a “sort-of” plan from the dietitians about how we go about trialling each food with M, but for the most part it’s going to be driven by us. Having finally got my lad to the point where “I feel better Mummy, my tummy’s less grumbly and I just feel…well…feel so much better in myself“, I refuse to be hurried and I’m going to protect this new sense of well-being with all my strength and determination.

A day in the life of my tube-fed child

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Ever wondered how having a tube impacts on everyday life? Here’s a little insight into a typical day in the life of my tube-fed child:

6am – 8am – Whilst we try to leave M sleeping as late as possible, our day starts much earlier. Mike’s alarm sounds at 6am and then follows a perfectly honed routine of taking M’s 1000mls feed out of the fridge, warming it in a bowl of boiling water, aspirating his tube (hopefully with as few interventions as possible), fitting the bottle, feeding kit and pump together and then starting the feed itself at as close to 6.30am as can be managed. Allowing M to continue to snooze for another hour or so, with his pump fully supported and protected in his bed and the tube taped securely to his back to avoid accidents, is necessary for all our sanity, not least because he still hasn’t mastered falling asleep much before 11pm each night. Once M’s feed is started, it’s the turn of the rest of us to get up and make sure we’re washed, dressed and eating breakfast before I wake M at 8am.

8am – 8.30am – This 30-minutes window is dedicated to M – getting him up, washed and into his school uniform, whilst negotiating his tube and the pump without too much interruption to the feed going in. M is evidently a natural contortionist and has not only worked out how to thread his pump and tube through the neck of his clothes whilst still attached, but also how to do it the right way round – no mean feat for a child with dyspraxia and a challenge that has been known to flummox this Mummy more than once. However, on school mornings I take the easier option of stopping his pump for 5 minutes and disconnecting his tube to allow him freedom of movement and giving me time to put the pump-stand securely into his back-pack.

8.30am – 9.30am – Pump attached and back-pack secured ready for school, we head out of the door and race off to meet up with the walking bus to get G and M to school on time. Depending on the day, we have to make sure we have the correct selection of bags and other extraneous items with us – school bag, packed lunch for G, water bottles for both, cello or clarinet plus music, PE kits, swimming bag, my packed lunch, my “M” bag (containing spare NG-tube, spare feeding kits, pH strips, 60mls syringe, cooled water for the flush, spare tape and his lunch-time medicine), the 500mls feed for the days when my Mum picks up from school, handbag, office keys, house keys and car keys; oh and mobile phone, mustn’t forget the all important mobile phone! Once at school, G and M go their separate ways with their friends, I pass on any useful information to key members of staff and then head off back to my car for the 5-minute commute to my office.

9.30am – 1.30pm – Fingers crossed this 4-hour slot should be a quiet one. Whilst I’m busy working away in my office and partaking in the occasional cup of tea, M is enjoying a morning at school with his backpack firmly attached to his back at all times. We’ve worked with the school to make some adaptations to allow him to participate fully in all lessons and he’s finally garnered the confidence to run around with his friends at play-time. He will sometimes request a break from the pump if his tummy starts to ache and the school have been trained to know how to switch his feeds and the pump on and off. This 1000mls feed takes nearly 7 hours to give and so I head back up to school for the end of lunchtime play to switch the feed off, disconnect M from the pump and flush his NGT through. The last few weeks I have been working alongside 4 members of staff, who are now fully trained and proficient in M’s needs and they will be taking this role on fully after half-term, meaning less disruption to my working day. Pump and backpack abandoned and medicines administered, M now has the rest of the school-day “pump-free” and I head back to my office.

Courtesy of telegraph.co.uk

3.30pm – End of school and on to the next part of our day. On the days when G and M go back to my Mum’s house after school, she first drops M at my office, where I reconnect him to the pump and the 500mls feed begins before I send them on their way and carry on with my work.

4pm – 5pm – If I’ve been the one to meet them at the school gates, then this signifies the busiest part of my day so far. We start with music practice for both children before they’re allowed to even consider asking for time to play on their tablets or to watch TV. As the gentle strains of music float down the stairs to the kitchen, I’m busy prepping everything for the hour ahead. I take the 500mls bottle out of the fridge and start heating it up, ready for a 4.30pm start time. I boil the kettle to make the feeds for the next day, running between kitchen and dining room to gather up all the necessary sterile medical supplies from the stockpile we have hidden in there.

Courtesy of shutterstock.com

I prepare the 2 mixes of medicine for M to take the following day and store both those and the feeds on the top shelf of the fridge. In between the kettle boiling and the feeds being made, I will hopefully have managed to check M’s NGT placement and will get the feed started on time. Next it’s on to making packed lunches for G and me for the next day, alongside prepping dinner for G and almost inevitably dealing with the requests for a drink, a snack and tablet time from both children. If I’m lucky, I’ll also have managed to wash the syringes and medicine pots, washed the empty feed bottles for the recycling, pulled out G and M’s homework books and might even have had time to take my work shoes off and pull my slipper boots on!

Midnight music practice is the way to go!

5pm – Bedtime! – The rest of the evening is spent convincing M and G to do homework, hearing them read, monitoring their screen time, peace-keeping, deciding on dinner for Mike and me and any one of a million other tasks that parents across the world are having to complete on a school night. Friday nights include a 3-hour stint at Stagecoach for G, M and currently for me too as I need to be on hand to tape down his NGT for dance, attach him to his pump during singing and drama and just generally monitor that nothing goes wrong whilst he’s there. Twice a week that list includes choir rehearsals for me as well as the monthly PTA meetings and the not-so-regular book club meetings I enjoy (assuming I’ve found time to read the book!). We start the bedtime routine at around 7.30pm and insist that lights are out for G by 9pm. M then spends the next few hours until somewhere around 11pm reading books, playing his cello, composing music on his ukulele, playing games and listening to music. He will finally go to sleep once I’m upstairs and going to bed myself and, if Mike is lucky and times it perfectly, by the time he’s put M’s pump on to charge, tidied up the kitchen, put the cats out, set the alarm and come up himself, M will be fast asleep alongside me and it’s a simple case of moving him back to his own bed. On a good night, we might then get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep until our day starts all over again.

A Super Tubie of my Own

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Courtesy of feedingtubeawareness.com

This week is #feedingtubeawarenessweek, a week that our family is embracing with every ounce of our being this year. Last year I wrote about our 2 previously brief encounters with a NG-tube, knowing that there was an ever-present chance that M might end up needing one at some as-yet-unspecified point in the future. Just 12 months on and the state of M’s health due to his EGID means that a NG-tube is now part of our everyday family life. The aim of the campaign this year is to dispel the myths and misconceptions that surround tube feeding and to show that adults and children can live their lives and have fun with the tube in place. A tube is often the path to improved health and development and should be embraced as such by us all. Their theme is “The truth about tube feeding”.

M’s friends and class-mates have accepted it as very much part of who M is and have been amazing at looking out for him at every turn without leaving him out of their games. One friend was so intrigued by the tube and how it worked that I spotted him peering up M’s nostril to see where the tube went, just before M opened his mouth wide and pointed out that the tube could also be seen at the back of his throat – how I love the honest interest of 9-year old boys! He was more bothered by the Year 3 children at school, who he often caught staring at his tube, but he developed his own coping mechanisms and when asked what “that” was – a question often accompanied by a finger pointing towards his nose – he started telling them it was “…nothing, but a mere figment of your imagination…”, before walking off, leaving in his wake a stream of very confused 7- and 8-year olds.

In light of all this, I was chatting to M this afternoon about his tube and people’s attitudes towards it. I was interested to find out how he feels about strangers staring and what response he would want them to give instead. His reply fascinated me as it expressed clearly how much more awareness is needed about tube-feeding and the impact had on those living with a tube. He didn’t mind the idea of people asking me about his tube and the reasons for it, but he isn’t yet comfortable with having to deal with those questions himself. However, the most telling statement was this one:

“Adults should know not to stare, but sometimes they do and I don’t know why”

and that, in turn, made me think about how I feel about M and his NG-tube. Hospital, home and support groups all exist within a protective bubble, where nothing is unusual and normal is defined by each individual and their particular needs. It’s only when you go out into the outside world that you suddenly come up against opinion and prejudice and the harsher side of life; against people who don’t understand that this tube is bringing nutrition and healing to my child and who find themselves unable to pull their eyes away from the tube stuck to the side of his small face.

Courtesy of timemanagementninja.com

We’ve been lucky and haven’t experienced negative comments or unwanted interest. Yes, I’ve seen the intrigued looks or double-takes as passers-by register his tube, and I’ve received the sympathetic smiles from other parents as they’ve watched me attaching his pump or silencing the alarm, but nothing more. We’ve been fortunate to have the most amazing support from the families and friends who are part of FABED, many of whom have been in the same boat at one time or another and know how it feels to be suddenly following a slightly different path through life than the one we thought we were on.

Today, I found an article written by Traci Nagy, the founder of the Feeding Tube Awareness Foundation, in 2013 to discuss the importance of feeding tube awareness and thought I’d share with you this excerpt that sums up for me just why awareness matters so much to families like mine:

“It matters that people understand something about feeding tubes other than Terry Schiavo or that silly KE diet. It matters that they know there are well over 200 medical conditions and diseases that can lead children to need extra nutritional support through tube feeding. It matters that they realize that these conditions aren’t always visible, and that looking “normal” doesn’t mean there isn’t more going on inside. It matters that they know that the feeding tube can be thought of like any other medical device in that it helps you do what you can’t do on your own…for now. It matters that they understand that the benefit is that children get the nutrition and hydration they need to grow, develop and thrive.”

20150208_181917 So, this week we’re the family proudly sporting the “I love a Tubie” t-shirts accompanied by the live-wire that is our very own “Super Tubie”. Stop and say hello and don’t be afraid to ask me questions, but let M get on with whatever he’s doing. We’re hoping to raise awareness and are happy to start in our community, after all, we know that every journey begins with a single step.

Our first lesson in Elemental feeding

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Courtesy of shutterstock.com

The last 11 years have been filled with one parenthood-survival lesson after another and it has to be said that the majority of those can be attributed to M. I’ve now honed my parenting techniques to become, not just referee, cheer-leader, taxi-driver and chief bottle-washer, but also self-made expert in rare gastro conditions, skilled negotiator with both small children and medical professionals alike and ardent advocate for (my) children’s rights. Our latest, and steepest, learning curve carries an uncanny echo of the challenges my own parents had to conquer nearly 30 years ago when faced with the diagnosis of my Type 1 Diabetes (T1D). They had to learn fast all about blood sugar monitoring, counting carbohydrates and, perhaps most daunting of all, how to give insulin injections. There could be no question of whether they felt comfortable in doing these things because they knew that their new role in my life was not just as parents, but as the front-line defenders of my everyday health. I have hazy memories of learning to inject on an orange and know that those oranges were subject to the first faltering attempts of my whole family.

Courtesy of soteriapublishinghouse.com

We’ve had to learn how to feed our child via NG-tube, a process known as enteral feeding and similarly there’s be no time to stop and question whether we were ready, willing and able to do this because M’s health demanded it of us. Each step is not particularly complicated in itself, but the anxiety of remembering what we had to do and when was overwhelming in the first couple of weeks and I was scared of getting it wrong. Due to a desperate need for M’s bed in the long-term gastro ward at GOSH, I had no choice but to learn as much as I could as fast as I could, so as not to be left struggling once we were back in our own home. We have the support of an excellent nursing team from Nutricia, the company who provide M’s pump, feed and medical supplies, but that’s it. Mike and I have quickly had to become experts in this new part of M’s journey and the extraordinary has now morphed into the routine.

For those of you who have never had to do enteral feeding, or who are learning about it for the very first time, my next couple of blog posts will cover the process in a “step-by-step” approach, which will hopefully give some useful tips on managing tube feeding. I would also highly recommend reading this blog post by fellow blogger, MumAnnie123 – it was my “go-to” article when we were incarcerated at GOSH and gave me lots of tips and advice about maintaining my sanity as we ride the NG-tube feeding roller-coaster. The one thing I’ve quickly learned is that everyone will have a slightly different approach, be they parents or medical staff, so make sure you follow the basic rules, adopt recommendations that meet your family’s needs and adapt to a routine that suits you and your child the best. At the end of the day, you are the people living with the elemental feeding and need to have a system that works for you – alter the feeding routine to work with and around your life at home.

Following a timetable that is hugely reminiscent of our days with a baby, each day actually begins the night before, when I have to make up the bottles of M’s feed alongside the preparation of G’s packed lunch for the next day. Each evening as I boil the kettle, I gather everything needed to make his feed – packets of the Elemental E028 powder, scoops (1 blue, 1 yellow), a 1 litre plastic measuring jug, hand whisk and 2 sterile packs containing the 500mls and 1000mls plastic feeding containers, also more glamorously named “reservoirs”.

We have a detailed “recipe” for M’s E028 feeds, which was calculated by the GOSH dietetics team to provide the calories and nutrients he requires daily based on his age, height and weight and I carefully measure the required scoops of the formula into the measuring jug. Next comes adding the boiled water, which was surprisingly trickier than it sounds as Mike and I both made mistakes on our first weekend at home. What hadn’t been made clear to us in the hospital was that the water added is enough to make the required amount , in M’s case 550mls, and NOT, as we both first read it, add 550mls of water to the mix. Whilst this sounds a fairly inconsequential error, the nuance was important and the outcome was that we ended up with a lot more formula that M could drink and at a lower concentrate that he needs to remain healthy. I add the boiled water whilst it’s still warm as I’ve found this dissolves the powder more thoroughly and a good whisk ensures that there are no lumps poured into the feed bottles. This is important as those miniscule lumps can be enough to block the tube and cause the pump to alarm.

Feed mixed and bottles filled, we then store them in the fridge for up to 24 hours, following the advice of both our dietitian and the community nurse, who reassured us that this was safe to do and is a shortcut that makes my life a whole lot easier. M hates having his E028 cold, so I make sure that the bottle is taken out of the fridge at least 30 minutes before his feed is due to start and warm it in a bowl of hot water – a great tip shared by the nurses at GOSH. The first few days felt chaotic as I rushed around making up feed, storing bottles and trying to make sure that we were doing everything we were supposed to do. Now I’ve found we’ve fallen into a steady rhythm as I’ve found my feet in making this process work for me and that was the key to our success.

7 years to diagnosis

Searching for an answer

Tag Archives: love

“Magic never dies. It merely fades away.”

Photographic evidence

9th celebrations

Piece of cake

A Whodunnit birthday!

“I like rice…

E028 – the success story

A day in the life of my tube-fed child

A Super Tubie of my Own

Our first lesson in Elemental feeding