Tag Archives: marriage


20 years ago the world was on the cusp of the new millennium. Fears were high about the possible fallout from Y2K and the dreaded millennium bug, and my Mum was not alone in stocking her under-the-stairs cupboard with enough dried goods and bottled water to see the family survive for months if the very worst actually happened. Films “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace”, “The Sixth Sense” and “American Beauty” hit the big screen and we found ourselves singing and dancing along to “Tragedy”, “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, “Mambo No. 5” or even “Baby One More Time”. It was a time of excitement as we ventured into that new era with anticipation for everything that the 21st century might bring.

20 years ago Mike and I embarked on a new adventure that was all our own. Mike had moved almost everything he owned across continents, we had bought our first house, faced – and survived – the first big challenge of life with my T1D and, on December 18th 1999, we committed to loving each other and living together for the rest of our lives. We trusted that that commitment would bring with it much happiness, but knew that we would inevitably face challenges and sorrow too, which we would survive and could survive by being there for one another. Our vows “…for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health…” have been tested perhaps far more than we could even imagine, but we have come through the harshest of fires and are much stronger for it.

20 years ago we celebrated our wedding surrounded by our family and friends from near and far, and even though several of those who were with us then are no longer with us, we have precious memories to remind us of their presence when we started life together. Our wedding was very much a family affair. We were married in the breath-taking beauty of our local Cathedral and were blessed to have friends from my time with the Girls’ choir there performing integral roles in the ceremony – from the Canon marrying us, to the Organist playing, the Choir providing the music and the Head Verger adding and lighting tens of tealight candles before the service to bring an extra touch of magic. Our amazing vintage car was provided and driven by the father of someone who was at school with me and a friend of my Aunt made our stunning wedding cake. Our reception venue was decorated by my bridesmaid’s mother and friends of my parents provided a Dickensian feel with their wonderful singing of popular Christmas carols before our evening reception began.

20 years on, we are not the fresh-faced youngsters we were then. Life has taken us on journeys that we never imagined would be part of our future and has, at times, battered us to the point when it would have been so much easier to just crawl under the duvet and hide, rather than face it head-on. We have weathered every storm that has come our way and somehow found a way to absolutely dance in the rain. We are stronger and braver together than we would ever have been as our separate parts – 20 years of life experienced together will do that for you.

20 years on, I am grateful for every moment we have shared. Neither of us is perfect – far from it indeed – but somehow we’ve made it work. We’ve laughed together, loved together and grieved together. We have 2 wonderful children – most of the time – and life is good.

Happy 20th anniversary Mike. Love you always and here’s to 20 more!

Reaching our majority

Another year on and we’ve finally reached our majority! 18 years of marriage, which according to this website, requires a trip to either China or Denmark. We enjoyed our nod to the first when we ate dinner in Chinatown, London on Saturday evening, but today will just be about a meal at home once the children are in bed, a glass of something cold and probably not too much else!

Happy Anniversary Mike – love you always

The Italian Job

Sometimes you just need some time off; a week away from it all; an opportunity to have a break from the everyday, to just rest and relax and be. The thing is that that is hard enough to achieve when you’re a parent and near on impossible when you’re a special needs parent. The stress of leaving your chronically ill child with someone else, even when accompanied by a small novel’s worth of detailed instructions about what to do in every possible and conceivable situation, threatens to overwhelm and can seemingly be insurmountable for a day or two, let alone more than that. Mike and I are lucky that my Mum lives close enough to give us some nights off during school holidays, but those days usually mean longer hours at work for me as I attempt to make up time missed for hospital appointments with M and include only the occasional trip out to the cinema or for dinner somewhere where we aren’t tied to the essentials of chicken, rice and cucumber of our everyday menus.

Last December, in fact the day before M was admitted to GOSH for those disastrous food challenges, I received a Facebook message out of the blue from one of my fellow FABED Mums:

“Is that you that has won a trip to Italy with schar? Saw Twitter post? Congratulations x”

and have to confess that at that point I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about! A quick unscheduled peek at my Twitter feed and a long look at my e-mails later, I was stunned to learn that she was indeed right and I had won a 4-night stay in Italy thanks to gluten-free producer Dr Schar and the Allergy and Free from Show, Liverpool. It has taken a little while to put all the necessary pieces in place, but finally, last week, 6 full months since I first received that message, Mike and I left G and M in my Mum’s more than capable hands and jetted off for a much-needed break from it all.


Getting to that point did take some effort and there were last-minute wobbles before we finally left. It took an unbelievable amount of time to confirm the dates for our hotel stay due to the relaxed attitude of the Italian hotel staff and our flights were researched and scheduled by me once I knew the preferred airports for us to travel to and from. Two nights before we left, Mike questioned whether we really could go abroad given M’s current ill-health, but we trust my Mum implicitly and knew we needed to take some time for ourselves. That’s something that my Mum supported fully as she knows that reality as well as we do due to my T1D diagnosis at age 9. The truth is that you should never under-estimate the impact of a sick child on a marriage: the focus naturally shifts from each other to that child and home life inevitably revolves around what they need in every waking moment. In our household, those needs have not just been during the day, but at nighttime too as M’s sleep issues have been an ongoing problem that we continue to struggle with and every time we seem to be making some headway with it, something happens to set us back to where we were before. His broken leg has been no exception and has added to that regression as it has seen us playing musical beds with G moving to M’s cabin bed and Mike to G’s room to give M the comfort he needed to enable him to sleep in the weeks following the accident. The physical strain of looking after M with his broken leg has taken its toll on me, leaving me exhausted and Mike and I have had little time to spend with each other without interruption.


Our plane is the one on the left, which looked tiny when seen next to the Easyjet one also waiting for passengers

Last Monday passed in something of a blur and proved to be a long day of travelling with more than its fair share of minor hiccups along the way, just to keep us on our toes. We were up at 3.30am to reach our regional airport before a 6.30am flight to Munich, followed by a couple of hours waiting at the airport before our shuttle bus arrived. Then there was the 30 minutes of pure stress as we failed to connect with the shuttle bus due to the unclear instructions as to where to wait that were written on the booking form and my tears of panic as Mike desperately tried to find a helpful German airport worker to help him communicate with the bus company, before all was finally resolved and the driver turned around to pick us up. IMG_0522[1]The following 4.5 hours in a minibus without functioning air-conditioning and unable to communicate with said driver due to my lack of German and his lack of English was interesting, though we drove through some amazing countryside and realised that 4 countries in 1 day (UK, Germany, Austria and Italy) was a record even for us. We finally reached Lana, our Italian destination, only to discover that the cable car to the hotel – the only way to reach it – had broken down and we were destined to wait for an indeterminate amount of time as the statement that “..it might be 5 minutes, it could be 30…” was accompanied by an unconcerned shrug. But, we got there in the end and, having reached what is an amazing resort, it was, without a doubt, all worth it in the end.

E028 – the success story

When we started this new chapter in M’s life 10 weeks ago, we approached it with the attitude of “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst”.  We hoped that the move to an elemental diet, consisting of 1500mls of E028 each day, would bring some much-needed relief to his bowel and body and that, from that recuperation would come a way forward that would improve M’s quality of life.  And whilst we were well prepared that there was a chance it might not work; that it might not bring the recovery M desperately needed and that we might have to look to even more extreme measures to reach our end goal of improved health; that wasn’t a prospect we were prepared to spend too much time on, yet.  It was far more important to be positive about the route we had chosen, which wasn’t an easy choice to make and had its challenges from the start: be they passing the NG-tube at GOSH or figuring out our new routine at home.

Courtesy of nameonline.net

Courtesy of nameonline.net

Despite the roadblocks thrown in our path, we’ve kept plodding on, negotiating our way skilfully around the inevitable melt-downs, tantrums and even those tempers that lead to a tube being pulled out accidentally.  We’ve all learned valuable lessons – don’t storm off in a temper following a sibling argument leaving your pump behind being a key one for M – and we’ve survived as a family and, dare I say it, grown stronger as one too.  We have laughed, cried and got angry together.  We’ve used that laughter to overcome the depths of despair and we’ve focussed on the important things in life.  Mike and I have long been a team, since the disastrous surgery on my left eye for diabetic retinopathy 17 years ago just weeks after Mike had moved to the UK and before we were even married.  We may not always see eye to eye, but we have grown together and take turns in being the strong one when the other is feeling weighed down by the world.  Now we have 2 children who are learning those same lessons and this experience has shown me just how amazingly strong our children are. They’ve coped with all that life has thrown at them and whilst they may have been knocked down occasionally, they’ve learned to pick themselves up, to brush themselves off and to keep going along their paths. The last 10 weeks have seen them grow in their empathy for others and they too have taken turns in being the strong one when faced with adversity.

Courtesy of artiwards.com

Courtesy of artiwards.com

The best news of all is that we now know that every exhausted step has been worth it and I’m thrilled to be able to share that, for M, the E028 has been his success story.  Within days of the switch to a food-free diet, the near constant diarrhoea that has been the bane of the last 9 years of our lives stopped.  Just like that. No magic potions, no magic wands, no tricks and, so far, no looking back.  M has become the fun-loving, caring, well-behaved little boy we all knew was hiding somewhere within himself.  His joie de vivre has returned and his humorous outlook on life is much more evident.   As each day passes, we are slowly and surely making more and more progress and his confidence has grown as evidenced by his abandonment of his daytime reliance on pull-ups for the first time in a year.  It’s not been a perfect cure by any stretch of the imagination and his weight is once again giving us, and the medics, cause for concern, but it’s a massive step, a giant leap in the right direction.  We are lucky that this proved to be the way forward for M and we are truly grateful for that as we know so many other families who have not found it to be the answer to their health problems and are still battling on.

Meanwhile, the next step is the big one for us: food reintroduction.  We need to work on getting food back into M’s diet without upsetting this balance that he has found right now.  There’s a “sort-of” plan from the dietitians about how we go about trialling each food with M, but for the most part it’s going to be driven by us.  Having finally got my lad to the point where “I feel better Mummy, my tummy’s less grumbly and I just feel…well…feel so much better in myself“, I refuse to be hurried and I’m going to protect this new sense of well-being with all my strength and determination.