Tag Archives: Grandpa

Grief in Lockdown – 7Y2D COVID-19 Diaries Week 19

Lockdown hasn’t been easy anywhere around the world, but the last 10 weeks or so have been really challenging for our family. Mike’s Dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma back in 2012 and has spent the last 8 years valiantly fighting against this disease. Sadly, last weekend that battle came to an end and a much-loved Dad, Father-in-Law and Grandpa passed away. Despite Mike travelling back to Canada just over a week ago, he is currently stuck in quarantine and didn’t manage to see his Dad in person before he died, although he has spent time nearly every day of the last 10 weeks speaking to both of his parents either on the phone or via video-call.

The grief that has hit G and M is reminisce of that from 2 years ago when my Uncle passed away, and the 3 of us still in the UK are pulling together to support each other as we work through a gamut of emotions alongside the added strain of Mike now being away from home until the beginning of September. They have many wonderful memories of the last 16 years and I’m so glad that they both were able to spend precious time with Grandpa despite the ocean between us.

Grandpa, you will be greatly missed, but we know you’re now resting easy after a long, well-fought battle and are no longer in any pain xxx

Back to Canada

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Getting to Canada was not quite as straightforward as we had expected it to be. As I said in my last post, our decision to go had changed fairly last-minute and whilst I had managed to find a great deal for us to travel via Dublin, we had some unexpected last-minute stress when a work colleague mentioned that the rules had changed and Mike and the children might need Canadian passports to be able to enter the country. Fortunately, after a few extremely stressful hours as I anxiously trawled through the pages of the Canadian High Commission’ website, I discovered that we could apply for special authorisation to travel without the correct documents as there wasn’t enough time to process them before we left.

Bags packed, we arrived at our local airport and made our first pit stop in Dublin. Our layover wasn’t long enough to allow us to venture into the city itself, much to the disappointment of G in particular, so instead we explored the airport terminal and managed to find one of the airport restaurants that could make gluten-free bacon sandwiches for both children to help assuage their inevitable hunger. I had naturally packed more than enough food to satisfy their appetites during the flight, but was pleasantly surprised when the Aer Lingus meals arrived for lunch and had made a reasonable stab at providing the plain rice and chicken I had requested, despite the email I’d received telling us that they simply couldn’t accommodate M’s dietary needs at all.

We had left the UK in glorious sunshine and arrived in Toronto to hot weather, but pouring rain, which didn’t impress the children for their first visit in 5 years. However, M in particular was delighted with the huge Ford Explorer that was to be our vehicle for the duration of our 2 week stay and that went a long way to keep them cheerful despite the miserable weather. We headed north, on our way to Lake Huron and Mike’s parents’ house, stopping overnight in Orangeville for some much-needed sleep before we reached our final destination.

The next 4 days were spent with Mike’s parents in their beautiful town on the shore of Lake Huron and we enjoyed a whole host of activities, doing things we’d never had the chance to do before. Walks along the shore and the harbour; swims in one of the Great Lakes; a boat trip to the lighthouse on Chantry Island; stock car racing and time spent making precious memories with both their grandparents and some of their cousins. We did enough to keep us all entertained, but also enjoyed some great time just relaxing with family.

When September arrives

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September can really only mean one thing: the start of the new school year and all that that entails. This year it has been just that little bit more hectic than usual as some things have changed significantly, whilst others have remained strangely static. G has moved up into Year 8 and is already embracing the addition of 3 new subjects to her timetable,very much enjoying the extra lessons of French, Dance and Drama as well as the move from Food and Textiles to Product Design. With the new school year, so there is also a new school uniform and whilst G is still a little sceptical about its appeal, I am delighted with how smart she looks, though only time will tell if that will last for the full year or not. M is at the start of the final year of his Junior school career and I still can’t quite believe that my baby is now one of the oldest in the school. We know that this year will be full of challenges from an educational point of view, but with the continued support of his teachers at school and a full year of specialist lessons at our local Dyslexia centre, we are confident that he will be able to achieve his very best.

This September has also signified some major decisions about my own career after I was made redundant out of the blue at the end of the last school year. I am incredibly fortunate that my accountancy training meant that I was offered a new job within a remarkably short time-frame and I started that position the week before the children headed back to school. I felt encouraged by my new role and yet the last 2 weeks IMG_0743[1] have been filled with unexpected angst as one of the other positions I had applied for requested an interview and then offered me the job. After hours of deliberation and discussion and numerous sleepless nights, I have decided to accept this second role as it is an incredibly exciting and challenging position that I believe I would regret turning down. I am really looking forward to starting this new job at the beginning of October, which will bring some significant changes to our household as I will be back to working full-time hours for the first time since G was born, although I am lucky that they are happy to give me flexible hours and everything I need to sometimes work at home.

September has also been the month where we enjoyed a flying visit from Grandma and Grandpa, Mike’s parents, from Canada. G and M were so excited to see their grandparents for the first time in 4 years that they created a banner to welcome them when we went to collect them from our local airport. Mike finally finished the renovation job on our 4th bedroom, a task that had been started back in April,
but was interrupted first by the whole saga of M’s broken leg and then the demands of work and our summer holiday in Portugal. The room looks great, but his parents never got to sleep there as Mike had a last-minute panic that the futon bed might be too low for them and instead they slept in G’s room, whilst our gorgeous girlie moved to the freshly painted spare room for a few days. G, M and I all had to be at school and work as normal, but Mike spent some precious time with his parents before they returned home. It was a busy few days for us all, but we managed to squeeze in some family meals and board games where we could.

In the midst of all that busyness, there is one thing that has remained relatively static and that is the current position with M’s health, a real mixed blessing. The last year has been filled with numerous food trials, including during our disastrous admission at GOSH last December, but M is still stuck at just 5 safe foods and despite our hopes to start challenging him again soon, he is not even close to being symptom-free, something we’ve been striving for since his leg came out of plaster at the start of the summer. We are surviving in limbo with minimal medical input as the plan to start some shared gastro care with our local hospital has not yet materialised and we are not due back to GOSH for another couple of months. It is very difficult to see where the next few months will take us, particularly when you add in the added stresses of his Year 6 SATs, and so Mike and I are hoping for the best, but preparing for a bumpy ride.

One boy and his bike

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It will come as no great surprise to anyone who knows us when I say that M is something of a daredevil. A true speed demon who loves nothing more than racing around at breakneck speed, sometimes with a frightening lack of regard for his own well-being or my nerves. I think his attitude to life could well be described as “why do anything at walking pace when you can run?” He’s always been the same and mastered climbing out of his cot and climbing up anything to hand (think window-sills, wardrobes and shelving units) from an early age. It was something of a shock when he swept into our lives like a whirlwind, especially after 2 peaceful years with G, who took a much more relaxed approach to just about everything in her early years.

Despite M’s continuing love of climbing, which now includes any tree he can get a foothold on, and his passion for being constantly on the go even until the wee small hours, he has struggled to come to grips with the more mechanical methods of moving around. His obvious clumsiness as a toddler and unquestionable difficulties in balancing in gymnastics meant that it came as no great surprise when a few years later he was finally diagnosed with dyspraxia and dyslexia. M didn’t particularly struggle with his hand-eye co-ordination, in fact his nursery commented on how impressed they were with his tennis skills at age 3, but fine motor skills, upper body strength and balance have all taken a lot longer to achieve and are things he continues to work on both at home and in school. spark_2-0_action_3 It took a little longer for him to become confident on his scooter, but his determination to succeed on a 2-wheel one, rather than the 3-wheel “easier” option, paid off and earlier this year he saved up enough money to buy himself the new one he’d been eyeing up in the Argos catalogue since last Christmas.

However, the one thing that had continued to defeat him was successfully riding his bike without stabilisers. For years, M has been telling us that all we needed to do was arrange a return visit to Canada so Grandpa could teach him how to ride his bike, just as he had G and the rest of their cousins; and there was little we could do to persuade him that he could actually learn at home. Despite M’s belief that Canada and Grandpa were the key to his success, we’ve continued to encourage him to practice at home and had even attempted removing the stabilisers a couple of times in an attempt to push him into giving it his all, but to no avail. When M had his NG-tube placed at the start of this year, he was initially a little more cautious about all things even vaguely adventurous and after a couple of failed attempts on his bike, it was relegated to a dusty corner of the garage to gather cobwebs.

I’m not quite sure what changed over the summer, but something obviously did. It may have been seeing G and Mike head out on some Saturday afternoon bike-rides, whilst he and I played together at home; it could have been his increasing belief that he can do anything he wants with his tube in place; and without a doubt, his improved balance that is so clearly evident as he scoots around and attempts trick-jumps on his scooter also played a part; but a few weeks ago he finally found the courage to take that last step. It came as a something of a surprise and was his response to my somewhat flippant comment one afternoon. He was chatting away to me as I was pulling the washing from the machine in our garage and talking about Mike’s need to tidy up in there. I told him that in terms of sorting out their outdoor toys, maybe we should get rid of his bike as it was just cluttering up the corner and could be put to better use by someone else. He took it as a personal challenge:

“Ok Mummy, I’m going to get on my bike and ride it now!“

and with that comment, on he jumped and wobbled his way out onto the driveway, with his toes barely touching the ground.

I watched from the kitchen door as M persevered to overcome this challenge that has been his nemesis for so many years. There was a look of absolute determination etched into his brow and he just kept on going until, with G by his side cheering him on, he finally managed to put both feet to the pedals and rode the length of our driveway. Elated with his success, both children shouted out in triumph, summoning Mike and me to watch in amazement as M grew in confidence in front of our eyes and completed his victory lap several times over. Since that day he’s improved in leaps and bounds, with his bike being the first thing he pulls out as soon as he gets home from shutterstock_17311288 school for a few bumpy trips around the garden. We always knew that his premature arrival in the world with the dyspraxia added on top would mean he might take a little longer to master certain skills, but that he would get there in the end; and we were proved right that his refusal to be beaten by anything would eventually lead to an even sweeter success when we least expected it.