
This is one of my favourite images from 2015: our own version of last year’s Feeding Tube Awareness week meme that I adapted using photos of M. Those photos were taken over an 18-months period and by picture 4 you can clearly see the improved colour and fuller cheeks of M’s face now that he was finally getting proper nutrition. After nearly 6 months being fed via his NG-tube, he had gained weight, had improved bowel function and was once again the cheerful, happy-go-lucky child that we had known him to be as a somewhat mischievous toddler.
Over the last 5 years, M’s seemingly unrelenting energy has confounded those surrounding him because M has never given up; has never let his EGID slow him down, even in the darkest moments. He has long since learned the lesson of “grin and bear it” because, quite frankly, the alternatives for him were unthinkable. M is a do-er.
He loves to run around and be on the go and into everything all of the time. I mean it. M just doesn’t stop, ever. He’s always given 110% to whatever activity he’s doing, even if it meant trying to finish a swimming lesson white as a ghost and with a temperature of 39.5°, or running the magic mile on the first day back at school after a week off vomiting and barely able to move from his bed or the sofa. Whilst you might often find G curled up in a chair or on her bed reading a favourite book, the only time you’re likely to find M doing the same is at 11pm when he’s waiting for me to come to bed before settling down himself, and even then you’re just as likely to find him playing his cello, or perfecting his dance routine, or building with his Lego.

We thought we had seen it all, but 2015 showed us just how endless his energy supply could be when he was being fed a balanced, nutritious feed that provided all the calories, vitamins and nutrients his growing body needed. No longer struggling with the anxiety of limited bowel function or working through the relentless chronic pain, M found the energy to achieve so much with his pump pack and feeding tube in place. He walked miles around London on our Shaun the Sheep hunt with no complaint of aching legs; he tackled and beat the challenge of learning to ride his bike unaided; and he continued to participate in the weekly sessions of Stagecoach that he’s loved for years, no longer needing to take regular breaks during the 3 hours training. We’re now 6-weeks into life without a tube once again and none of us knows what the future will bring. His year with the tube might be all that M needs, or we might see the return of it at an as yet undetermined point, but I don’t regret that year, not when I can see the improvements to M’s health and life and energy levels that it brought. His tube was never a barrier to his activity, but rather the boost he needed.

If anyone was going to describe the last decade of my life, the one indisputable conclusion they’d end up reaching is that it’s been anything but boring. Thanks to a pair of children who have thrown more than their fair share of life challenges into the mix, we’ve weathered more storms than I ever believed possible and, for the most-part, we’ve come out the other side still smiling and relatively unscathed. We’ve survived a lot of challenges, met a whole host of amazing people and learned a great deal along the way; and if I had to pick just one lesson that constantly resonates, I’d have to say that we now know to never take things for granted as they can change at the drop of the proverbial hat. Two years ago I
We all felt the benefits of that visibility to start with and I no longer felt the underlying pressure to defend the true extent of M’s illness and food allergies whilst my outwardly healthy-looking youngster was intent on tearing around practically making a mockery of every problem and pain we said he was suffering.
We’ve had more than our fair share of animals since the children were small and over the years our house has been home to, believe it or not, 7 cats, 1 rabbit, numerous fish and now our latest family member, Leo. For the last 2 years or so, M has been eager to add another pet to our household and not just any pet: he has been very specific about the animal he’s had in mind. I have to be honest and say that I didn’t leap at the chance when he first made his bid, after all I have years of Mummy experience with M’s wildly fantastic and short-lived fads and this wasn’t one I was prepared to indulge unless he was genuinely intent on looking after it for the long haul. I’ve long-held the opinion that our
The first step was to buy him a book about them and he has spent hours reading and re-reading about bearded dragons and how to best look after one. His knowledge about these interesting animals is impressive and he has willingly shared what he knows with friends, family, doctors and nurses alike. Knowing that a GOSH admission could happen any day, we delayed our actual purchase until M was back home and life had settled down to something resembling our normal once again.
G’s godmother shared this pain scale image with me and I love the wording that is attached to it as it sums up to a tee how M has described his levels of pain over the years. From the magical unicorn of no pain at all which happens occasionally, to the breaking point of inconsolable sobbing and unbearable pain that little can ease, I’ve seen M pass through every stage of this chart on all too regular a basis. I doubt the colours, images or facial expressions would appeal overly to him, but it helps to clearly explain how he copes to those who need to know.
A fellow
This third one I discovered through Twitter and was posted up by @2tubies, whose 6-year old son helped make his own pain chart for the school environment with the help of the school SENCo and his Mum. They used Lego figurines to depict how he might be feeling and offered some easy solutions for his symptoms. This solution-based approach is one that I find works well with M and have started using it more and more over the years. I rarely give M the option of staying home from school when he’s feeling unwell, but will instead list out those solutions I think might ease not only his pain, but also the whirlwind of emotions that is so frequently tied into what he’s feeling on a physical level. Whilst he was still being tube-fed, I would always start with the offer to slow down or even stop his pump for a limited amount of time and then followed that up with pain relief or a hot water bottle. My final question has always been what M thinks will help him the most and given he has a clear idea of what I’m suggesting, then we have always been able to find a solution that works for us both. Whilst giving these choices verbally works well at home, I imagine that presenting them in a pictorial fashion would make great sense in the school setting.
At G’s secondary school, they have included traffic light coloured pages in the back of the pupils’ planners and the children are encouraged to use them by putting the relevant colour facing up on the desk if they need some help during a lesson, but are too worried or nervous to ask. For some children, a “traffic lights” approach using counters or cards can also be effectively used to indicate how they are feeling in any given situation, where red can indicate their sense of losing control or not coping with the environment surrounding them. The opportunity to be tactile with the counters may also help children with sensory issues order their thoughts and be more able to express them when asked. Even if the child is not able to share what’s troubling them, a clear plan of how the teacher or adult in charge should respond to each colour will change that child’s perceptions and experiences away from home. Similarly, M’s school uses a “Fist to 5” approach to their work, where fist indicates a lack of understanding and the need for some help, and 5 means they are confident and happy to carry on on their own.
those “virtual” friends from on-line support groups, who during the length of our admission were also admitted to GOSH. The ability to finally put faces to names, with a reasonably comprehensive background knowledge already in place and be able to spend time chatting, laughing, drinking tea and commiserating was priceless.
making some special cupcakes to celebrate your 12th birthday tomorrow, cakes to make up for you having to celebrate your last birthday at GOSH with M and without a cake. The ingredients are bought and hiding at the back of the cupboard, so maybe I’ll have the chance to bake them for you for Christmas because instead I’m over 100 miles and 3 hours travel time away from you.
instead we’ll be watching via FaceTime to see what goodies you’ve received with our fingers crossed that our cards have arrived from London in time.
12 NG-tubes and the accompanying tube changes, which included…
4 pump backpacks worn out and replaced (and number 5 will be needed soon);
Nearly 1 whole school year achieved with only a few days off;



the tube is tight enough, taped enough, in the right place enough…and not getting caught on anything
has declared on more than one occasion that she has no plans to learn to drive when she reaches 17, but will instead ride her horse wherever she needs to go. Over the last 18 months or so, she started asking about the possibility of riding lessons again and it was then that my Mum came up with the idea of rewarding all her hard work for her SATs with a short course of lessons.
with confidence and impressed not just her riding instructor, but me too, with her sense of balance and ability to trot round with her hands and arms in every position imaginable except where you’d expect them to be.

