Tag Archives: fight

Another food and an unexpected insight

This moment has been an awfully long time coming, over 4 months and 7 food fails in a row in fact, but finally we have a fourth safe food to add to M’s repertoire: apple.  The last few months have been emotionally tiring as we’ve worked our way down the list of food challenges agreed with our dietitian and M has systematically, and holy-grailsometimes dramatically, failed each and every one.  It has felt as if that elusive fourth food was our personal Holy Grail and there were times when Mike and I both began to wonder when we would ever achieve it.

One of the complicating factors we’ve had to deal with during the food challenges has been the whole host of reactions that we’ve seen along the way.  We were never told, as far as either of us can remember, that it was possible to see so many different allergic responses to the varying foods M was trialling and we were certainly not advised that he could experience some that he’d never had before.  His severe oral reaction to sweet potato was, in many ways, the easiest one to identify, even though horrendous to see happen, as we knew immediately that it had to be an instant fail; but the others have not necessarily been so straight-forward.

complicatedOur main goal is to maintain the improved health and toileting that M has achieved since he first went elemental back in December and even though that has meant ruling out some foods that would have been great to have back in his diet, I remain firm that his well-being, both physical and psychological, is our primary concern.  At our last appointment, we discussed with both M’s consultant and dietitian our approach to the food challenges and agreed that anything that causes a loss of bowel control, of any description, has to be considered an instant fail for the time-being. These foods are not ruled out permanently – well, sweet potato is as far as I’m concerned! – and we will, without a doubt, revisit them at some future point once we have more safe ones back.

Sadly he has reacted to some of his old favourites, but he has coped admirably well with accepting the outcomes.  He still remains reluctant at times to acknowledge exactly how he is feeling and telling us about the aches and pains we know he must be experiencing, but 9 years of parenting M means that I have become highly attuned to his moods and can sense when he’s feeling under the weather.  His willingness to lose a food again at times has indicated to us that he also identifies when it’s making him feel poorly, especially when he has been prepared to fight for those that he believes he can cope with.

Never was that so true as at the start of our apple challenge.  During the first couple of days, his body reacted with hives and itchy skin, just as we saw when we first reintroduced rice and he also struggled a little with his bowel control.  However, unlike with other foods where he has reluctantly agreed that it was likely a negative response to the challenge, this time round M insisted that the fault was his for not listening to his body and responding quickly enough and that he felt he was still in complete control.

10 days on and he has proved to be right, which is a valuable lesson for us all:

We have spent years fighting for our voice to be heard when it has come to M’s health and each step of the way have been shown to be right in our concerns and our thoughts for his ongoing treatment.  It seems that now we need to start listening to what M has to say too and take into consideration his opinions and insights about his body.  Of course, at 9 he is nowhere near old enough or responsible enough to make his own choices or sway our decisions unduly, but, just as I have spent a long time arguing my place as the expert on the subject of M because I’m his Mum, now as Mum I need to encourage him to be his own best advocate and take an active and involved role in his care.  After all, that’s a key part of my parental role.apples7

And whilst I ruminate on this latest insight into M’s development, I’m eagerly gathering ideas and recipes to incorporate apple, in all its glory, into his diet.  So far, we’ve ventured little further than apple juice, apple slices and apple pancakes, but with the help of good friends, including one whose son is just a few steps further down the food challenge road than M, and great resources such as The Recipe Resource, then apple crumble, apple crisps and apple cakes are all on our horizon.


The Battle is won

battleThis has been a surprisingly difficult post to write.  I’ve found it challenging to give the details of our progress over the last 4 months following my formal complaint to our local hospital about the poor treatment we received when we were there earlier in the year, without it sounding either overly clinical or emotional beyond belief.  I’ve finally resorted to bullet-point format as the steps we’ve taken have been an important part of our journey with M that I want to share, but they don’t need any unnecessary waffle in the re-telling.

  • 24-Feb-2014: Write a formal letter of complaint to the Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS) based at our local hospital, giving details of our appointment, what happened whilst we were there and our areas of concern regarding the care they’re refusing to offer to M.
  • Mar-2014: I also write to our local MP asking for his help in getting local hospital support for M and giving brief details of our poor experiences to date, including a copy of our formal complaint and my blog-posts, so that he has all the relevant facts to hand.
  • Mar-2014: Receive an acknowledgement of my complaint from the hospital, who advise they are looking into the matter and will send a formal response by the end of April 2014.
  • Mar-2014: Our MP’s secretary calls from Westminster to express their dismay at learning about our experience and to offer an appointment at his next local surgery to discuss the matter further and to see how he can usefully support us in our quest to get local input for M.
  • Mar-2014: Receive a copy letter from the General Paediatrician we saw in February giving details of the appointment and what next steps they suggest are followed to help M.  Given the date of the letter and the way it is written, it is blatantly obvious that it has been written with my complaint in mind and does little to reassure me that this medic will be fighting M’s corner going forward.  The letter stresses that they are concerned about our request for shared care, but that they will refer M to one of the gastro consultants based at our local hospital to see if he will help.
  • Mar-2014: Same day that we receive the letter from the last doctor, I meet with our MP to seek his advice.  He listens with a sympathetic ear and immediately offers to do whatever necessary to ensure M is given the chance to receive local support as well as the care from GOSH.  In the light of the letter received, he proposes that we wait to see what the formal response from the local hospital is and whether the referral is successful or not. He also asks that I keep in touch with his secretary and let her know how things progress.
  • April-2014: A month passes without much movement on either the complaint or the referral front.  I contact our GP to ask him to also refer M to the gastro consultant as I am still lacking confidence that the hospital doctor will do a favourable referral given the nature of my complaint.  During this wait, we have a planned appointment at GOSH and I am able to discuss with them whether they would support our request for shared care. The gastro team is very supportive of our request and advises that they usually recommend that a general paediatrician is the point of contact locally to avoid any unnecessary conflicts concerning M’s treatment.  However, given our local’s apparent reluctance, GOSH agree they will discuss M’s care with anyone in the local hospital.
  • April-2014: We finally receive a reply from the Chief Exec, offering his apologies for our poor experience as well as giving me their findings about the complaint.  He also offers a meeting with both the gastro consultant and a member of the Senior management team at the hospital to see how we can take M’s care forward.  There is some confusion as to who will schedule this appointment, but a series of phone-calls on my part and a very helpful admin assistant at their end means that the appointment is finally organised for June.
  • May-2014: I receive a follow-up email from our MP asking how things are going and reminding me to keep him informed of any changes in our situation.  I’m delighted to be able to inform him that we’ll be meeting our local hospital at the beginning of June and agree to let him know how that meeting goes.
  • June-2014: The day finally arrives and Mike and I head off to our local hospital to meet with members of staff to discuss M’s needs, having left a poorly M with Mum for the duration.  Our aim is to get our local to agree to having “shared care” with GOSH, so that we don’t have a repeat episode of our Christmas hell with a M who desperately needed admitting for treatment and nowhere that would take him.  The consultant we meet is delightful and we’re thrilled to learn he worked at GOSH for a number of years and, even better, has worked alongside M’s consultant there.  He instantly agrees to look after M on a secondary care basis, dealing with our existing issues with recurring constipation/impaction and any emergency situations which may arise.  The management team has no choice but to go along with his suggestions and we agree on a system that should work well for us all and will ensure that M gets the very best care at all times.  The meeting ends with a follow-up appointment with the consultant 5 days later to deal with the current bout of impaction that M is suffering.

champagneIt has not been an easy road to follow and the number of letters, emails, phone-calls and late night discussions that have been flying around is huge – BUT we did it.  We’ve got secondary care for M at a local level and a positive way forward for the next few years, which is everything we wanted and which I hadn’t dared to believe was possible.  Of course, we still need to see how it all works outs in practice, but the first signs seem positive and we know we’ve got at least one consultant on our, and M’s side.