Monthly Archives: December 2013

Ringing in the New Year!

As we count down to the New Year, I have to confess to being glad to saying goodbye to 2013.  The last 2 years have been tough for our family and I’m looking forward to a more positive 2014.  We’re still not at our ideal place with M, but we now have a diagnosis and every day sees us taking a step – be it forwards, backwards or just to tread water to stay where we are – and we’re hoping to make some real progress in the 12 months ahead.  All that being said, there have been many highlights of 2013, not least of which has been the adventure of starting this blog and below are a few of my favourite:

Wishing you all a happy and peaceful 2014. May your new year wishes be fulfilled.

To whom it may concern

Dear Local Hospital

28 years ago, your specialists saved my life.

My family and I owe our gratitude to those skilled doctors who were on duty the night of my 9th birthday, when I was admitted perilously ill and closer to not making it through the night than my parents could have imagined.  Their wonderful care brought me back from the brink as my Type 1 diabetes was diagnosed and they supported me for the next 11 years of my life.  It is not ridiculous for me to say that I owe my life to you and had every confidence that when Mike and I started a family of our own, we could entrust the health of our children to your care.

2 and a half years ago, your consultants told me that there was nothing wrong with my son, other than a minor complaint he would grow out of in time.  Your doctors left me questioning my instincts and made me feel that they viewed me as a neurotic mother.  They even queried why we, as loving parents, would consider putting our child through an experience as horrendous as an endoscopy, when it was obviously not needed.  Mike and I began to doubt our judgement and, at breaking point and in desperation, we took our child and walked away from your care.

Our wonderfully sympathetic GP listened and sent us to one of the top Children’s Hospitals in the world for a second opinion. At our very first appointment there, we were told that he was a very ill little boy, but that they could help.  They have diagnosed a chronic condition that he will probably never outgrow, a condition that has changed his life.  For 2 years, we have juggled our family’s lives to make the regular and necessary trips to London to search for answers and to work out how to return our son to better health.

Six months ago, our son was struggling with new symptoms and GOSH requested a test to rule out any infections in his system.  A simple test that, due to its nature, needed to be carried out locally and our GP readily agreed and sent off the sample with the appropriate paperwork.  Within days, you replied that you wouldn’t do the test due to funding and suggested that if GOSH wanted the test done, then we should travel to London for them to carry it out.  It was with a sinking heart that I accepted this decision and vowed silently that I would never willingly bother your hospital again.

Five months ago, he needed urgent abdominal x-rays and I reluctantly agreed to attempt a referral to your hospital for these.  To my surprise, you agreed and once again I was reminded of the competence and compassion of the dedicated people who work there as they cheerfully showed my inquisitive child the x-rays of his poorly tummy.  A tiny seed of hope began to sprout – maybe we could develop a relationship with you that would put my son first.

Two months ago, we were prepared to give you another go.  GOSH wanted him to be admitted to you for the extensive bowel prep he needed prior to his scopes, due to the chronic constipation that had been identified over the summer.  I was willing to see if things had improved, now that we had the “big guns” at GOSH involved. You let us down again.  I don’t know fully the conversation that happened between your gastro team and the team at GOSH, but you refused to admit him and instead we had to face the upheaval of a week away from home to make sure he got the care he needed.  That tiny seed of hope had obviously been trampled on thorny ground.

A couple of weeks ago, I noted anxiously that he was showing some signs of chronic constipation once again and our best efforts were woefully ineffective.  GOSH advised that he needed to be admitted before Christmas for another bout of heavy duty bowel preparation to clear his system and once again suggested we tried you.  Once again, our stalwart GP sent an urgent referral across to you and once again, you refused to take him. This time you insisted that you wouldn’t even consider a referral sanctioned by GOSH unless he was examined by a GP first, so we did as asked, got him examined and re-sent the referral.

We are now nearly 3 weeks on and the best you can offer is an initial assessment in February 2014.  If this is your response to an urgent referral, I dread to think how long a child might need to wait for a so-called non-urgent one.  Our GP has been fantastic and can’t do enough to support us.  Their admin staff are searching high and low for any possible alternatives for us and making phone-calls that are definitely above and beyond their call of duty.

You have been fantastically dreadful and are refusing to budge on your decision.

I understand that you are busy.  I understand that your beds are full of other sick children.  I understand that you feel you don’t know my child any more and are reluctant to offer him treatment based on the recommendation of other health professionals.

BUT, you are failing a 7 year old child.

A child who is in constant pain that waxes and wanes to an increasing level every day.  A child who wakes in the night crying because of the pain in his tummy.  A child who needs medical intervention now, so that the problems don’t multiply and escalate in the lead up to Christmas.  A child who is at emotional breaking point and desperately needs some help.  A child who doesn’t understand why I can’t make him better and why you won’t help.

GOSH is helping as best they can and is working alongside our GP to prescribe a series of stronger laxatives for us to use safely at home.  The problem is that we won’t know for sure whether they’ve worked or not and will just have to keep trying during the festive season. What’s more we’re back at GOSH in the New Year, the best part of 6 weeks before you’ll see him and I’m left wondering what to do for best.

We’ve been told that we need a local paediatrician to be involved in his care.  Someone we can liaise with when things get this bad and who can help us get the local care that our child needs.  I’m caught between a rock and a hard place.  I don’t trust that you will give him that help and support and yet we can’t be dependent on continual telephone consultations, especially when we know local input would be less of a strain on us all.  Frustratingly, I don’t have options.  I know just how excellent you can be and yet the last few years have been one disappointment after another. The best alternative to you is in Wales and we can’t get there because of NHS funding policies.  We’re caught in a political trap, where everything comes down to money, or the lack of it, and postcodes; and everyone loses sight of the most important thing:

That at the centre of it all there’s a 7 year old boy who just needs someone to help him feel better.

A Duo of Birthday cakes

As this year was a milestone birthday for G – her first in double figures – I wanted to bake her a cake she’d love and remember for a long time.  Some time ago, I had seen this post by fellow allergy-friendly blogger, The Free From Fairy, and had duly filed away the information in the depths of my memory ready for the right occasion.  I loved the idea of creating a cake for G that would be as unique as she is and would have that often elusive wow factor too.

SAM_1707The morning before her party dawned and having bought every colour of icing under the sun and ensuring I had enough supplies of all the key ingredients, I started to bake.  In an attempt to make the cake extra-special, I decided to sandwich together layers of chocolate cake as well as plain sponge and used the tried and tested recipes I had developed earlier in the year.  The chocolate cake was perfect, but I wasn’t happy with the plain sponge layers as they were too soft in the centre to allow me to successfully cut and stack the cake as I needed.  I desperately searched for an alternative recipe and quickly found one that I tweaked according to the new principles of allergy-friendly baking that I have learnt this year. This second Victoria sponge worked brilliantly well and has now been added to my allergy-friendly repertoire.

SAM_1715 SAM_1714

With cakes baked, layers trimmed and stacked and my icing ready, I attempted to construct G’s rainbow pinata cake.  I filled the hollow with a selection of G- and M-friendly sweets before struggling to cover the structure with icing, ready for the final decoration. SAM_1717 I have to be honest and say that I wasn’t totally happy with the end result.  I found it hard to create the stability needed using an “everything-free” sponge cake.  With hindsight, I wish I had assembled the cake layers whole, rather than trying to create the arch of the rainbow as I think the outcome would have been even better.  All that being said, G and her friends loved the cake and were thrilled to discover the pinata-effect of the sweets hidden away in the middle of each slice.

SAM_1720 SAM_1775

Of course, me being me, I wasn’t satisfied with just one cake to celebrate such an important occasion and once the party was over and done with, I set to finding the perfect creation for the big day itself.  My inspiration for this second cake came from the amazing book, “Cupcakes, cookies & pie, oh my!“, which had been part of my recent leaving present from my job.  G and M have spent hours drooling over the wondrous creations featured between those pages and I determined to create a cupcake piece of art just for G.  I now have several great cake recipes to choose from, but stuck to our new favourites of Chocolate and Victoria sponges, though I ambitiously attempted to marble these together for the cupcakes.

20131213_110745 20131213_113920

The challenge this time round was that I needed to bake the cakes, ice and finish the decorations all in one day.  Usually I bake the day before and then spend the evening before the party finalising my ambitious decorating plans, but with G’s birthday falling on a Friday, I had to do it all whilst the children were at school.  Cupcakes and 8-inch cake baked, I started to prepare the icing, which needed carefully combining to ensure I had the final effect I wanted.  Everything ready, I put all the component parts together and perused the final masterpiece.  G had fallen in love with the cupcake peacock in the recipe book and I have to say, it has quickly become one of my favourite bakes too.  Needless to say, the birthday girl was delighted and it tasted pretty good too!

20131213_144723

A Decade of Parenting

By the time this week is over, Mike and I will have completed our first decade of parenting.  I hadn’t really thought of it in those terms until G came home from school a couple of months back and announced proudly that she would be turning a decade old this year.  Now that I have realised the truth in her statement, it seems like an amazing feat and, oh my goodness, hasn’t that time just flown by?

222128_10151146504756123_1412552440_n 128 copy

We’ve learnt so many things over the last 10 years, most of which are lessons all new parents discover sooner or later.  The most important one for me, I think, is that we have made many mistakes along the way and are likely to continue to make them despite our best efforts not to.  The best I can hope for is that there are no lasting scars being left on either G or M.  Equally inevitable is the fact that we’ve made the majority of those mistakes with G as by the time we got round to dealing with M, we had a better sense of the direction we wanted our parenting skills to take us.

Pictures July 06 044

The last 10 years with G have been an absolute delight, albeit there’s been the odd moment of stress or anxiety or frustration thrown our way.  We’ve watched our baby girl (oh how she hates me calling her that!) grow into a young lady who is beautiful both inside and out.  She is kind-hearted, generous, patient and loving, most of the time, although she has her moments of obstinate refusal, which I prefer to call “knowing her own mind”.  She is keen to please and hates to see her friends upset or disappointed and yet is fast learning to stick to her guns and will no longer pander to the whims of those surrounding her.

She loves him enough to share her blanket!

She loves him enough to share her blanket!

G has become a wonderful big sister to M and whilst tney might squabble and fight at home, she always has his back in the outside world.  Living with M is hard and sometimes the pressures on G are immense.  His constant battle with ill-health means that G often has to take the backseat in our priorities.  As is frequently the case, the healthier siblings of sick children can easily become lost in the chaos that is the illness, appointments and hospital visits and we work hard daily to ensure that G’s individual needs are met and that she feels that she gets the time and attention she deserves.  M might be her annoying little brother, but she worries about him whenever we have to travel to appointments and waits anxiously until we’re back home again.  The bond between my children is irrefutable and one that I hope will continue to grow and strengthen over time. DSC01674

G is bright, articulate, funny and able to achieve so much, although the one thing that continues to hold her back in her lack of self-belief.  Last week, G received her green award for 6 years continual attendance at Stagecoach.  We started her at 4, partly to satisfy my own love for the performing arts and partly in the hope that she would develop and build her confidence through the weekly classes.  G has grown incredibly as a performer during her time there and in the past 12 months has amazed us with a willingness to sing solos as part of two Stagecoach concerts as well as play a clarinet solo at school.  These are things she would have actively shied away from in the past and it’s been a real pleasure to see her become so keen to be involved.  As we read through her end-of-term report together, I was impressed with G’s maturity as she quickly identified that all 4 teachers were saying the same thing – that she needs to develop confidence in her own abilities as she has the potential to go far.  I’m excited to see just how she will tackle this new challenge in the year ahead.

8 years on and she's still our Queen of Hearts

8 years on – she’s still our Queen of Hearts

So, as we head into our second parenting decade, there’s not much more to say.  As may have become quite apparent, we are incredibly proud of G and all she’s acheived and survived so far.  All I can add is:

“Happy 10th birthday Floss – we love you very, very much”

Perfecting Christmas stuffing

With Christmas now less than a mere 3 weeks away – and counting – our preparations are in full swing.  Christmas lists have been created; letters to Father Christmas written; Christmas cards written and very nearly sent; presents bought, wrapped and squirreled away until the tree is up; and my attention has now turned to the small matter of the food.

Courtesy of mirror.co.uk

Courtesy of mirror.co.uk

A couple of weeks ago, I was given the job of cooking a Sunday roast for my Aunt whilst she was staying with Mum.  As I prepared the chicken and veg, I felt a sudden desire for stuffing to accompany the meal.  I have fond memories of delicious home-made stuffing on Sunday lunch-times as a child and realised, with a pang, that G and M would have no such recollection due to their food allergies.  As a family, stuffing disappeared from our table two and a half years ago when M first started on his MEWS-diet.  It has made the occasional reappearance at Christmas for us adults, but never in a M-friendly format.

Inspired by the pleasing aroma of chicken seasoned with sage that was drifting from the oven, I decided then and there to find a recipe for stuffing that I could tweak to meet G and M’s food requirements.  I sourced a vegan recipe for Sage and Onion stuffing and set about pulling the necessary ingredients from my Mum’s cupboards to start the mixing process.

20131117_120041 20131117_120358                                                                    M helped create the perfect breadcrumb

Despite my fears that this would turn out to be an unmitigated disaster, the final outcome was delicious.  Sadly, I was unable to convince G to even try a tiny morsel, but M set to with gusto.  He enjoyed the flavours, though he complained it contained too much onion for his tastebuds.  My final recipe can be found here and I am hoping to add recipes for other varieties for Christmas as I try them at home.  It was a great result for a Sunday morning’s work and I’m looking forward to tweaking more recipes to accompany the Christmas turkey.  The only question now is which one to adapt first – Chestnut, Sausagemeat, Cranberry or maybe all 3?

Unfortunately, I forgot to photo the final product and we ate the lot, so you'll have to be satisfied with a photo of the pre-cooked version!

Unfortunately, I forgot to photo the final product and we ate the lot, so you’ll have to be satisfied with a photo of the pre-cooked version!

A Pizza Express birthday

The first day of December heralds the start of the busy season for most, but an especially hectic time in our household.  As well as the much-awaited day itself with all the associated celebrations at school, work, choir and church, we also have to fit in a 10th birthday and a wedding anniversary.  This weekend we got the ball rolling in fine fashion with an early birthday celebration for G.

Whilst G is most definitely a December baby, this year other commitments near her birthday led to my decision to throw her party early and sneak it in at the end of November instead.  The first discussion was about the format her party was going to take.  G was keen to combine cooking or baking with a sleep-over.  I was less keen.  The prospect of organising a group of near 10 year-olds (and two 7 year-old boys) to prepare, cook and possibly decorate a selection of M-friendly foods lacked appeal.  Add in M’s inability to settle and sleep at the moment and I could see that it was more likely that full-scale battle would break out, rather than the joyous birthday celebrations G had in mind.

pizza

Thanks to some wise words from Canadian friend F, I found the perfect solution – a pizza-making party at Pizza Express.  Now I appreciate that throwing a pizza party for a child with wheat- and dairy-intolerances and her multiple food-allergy suffering younger brother sounds somewhat off the wall, but thanks to the gluten-free menu introduced by Pizza Express earlier this year, we knew it was a viable option.  We discussed our requirements with our local restaurant and were reassured that both children could participate fully and work around their dietary restrictions.

The date was duly booked, invites sent, travel arrangements made and finally the day dawned.  Following our prompt arrival at the restaurant, each child was given an apron and hat to don before their starters of garlic dough balls and a side salad were served.  Thanks to the information provided by Pizza Express, I was fully equipped for all eventualities and the chef was able to lightly toast 4 slices of M-friendly bread, which was served with garlic butter that I had prepared at home.

20131130_114252

Next the task of making the pizzas themselves.  G, M and their friends were given a ball of pizza dough each and were then instructed in the art of rolling, pressing out and filling the pizza pans.  The children had varying success with their pizza bases, but eventually, after a couple of false starts, everyone had a base to be proud of.  They were then given a selection of toppings to add before their pizzas were baked in the ovens.  G and M were able to take full part in this, preparing pizzas for Mike and me to enjoy.

20131130_115054 20131130_115116

Stretching and fitting the dough to the pan

Adding the GF tomato sauce to the base

Adding the GF tomato sauce to the base

Once these pizzas were ready to be cooked, G and M were then given the opportunity to make their own lunch.  Our party host was fantastic and explained just how Pizza Express make sure that their GF options are kept safe from the risk of cross-contamination in their kitchens.  The GF pizza bases are pre-made and kept in separate storage as is the GF tomato sauce for the base and they use different pizza pans to cook the GF pizzas, which are easily distinguished from the normal ones.  I had brought our own supplies of grated goats’ cheese for G and chunks of Violife vegan cheese for M, which is both dairy- and soya-free.

20131130_120855 20131130_120917

G’s with goats’ cheese and ham and M’s with black olives and Violife cheese

We finished the meal with a small portion of ice-cream with various toppings they could add at their discretion.  Once again I had been able to bring with me a tub of Booja-booja chocolate ice-cream for G and M to enjoy and was thrilled to discover that the Pizza Express toffee sauce was safe for them too as the party host had made the effort to check the detailed allergy listing for all their products and could reassure me that it was safe.

20131130_121346              20131130_121857

A game of “Pin the moustache on Paulo” entertained them whilst the pizzas were cooking

All the children had a wonderful time and we were hugely impressed by the attention to detail that PIzza Express makes to ensure that their allergy-friendly options remain safe, even down to serving G and M’s pizza on separate platters to once again ensure no cross-contamination occurred.  It was a real treat to be able to offer a “normal” birthday experience to G and for them both to enjoy the birthday celebrations with their friends.