Tag Archives: parenting

Proud Mummy moments

Where there’s hope

“Where there’s hope, there’s life. It fills us with fresh courage and makes us strong again”

This has been a quote that has resonated with me over the last week. As I wrote in my last blog, we have been struggling with a relapse that has left us all feeling despair and wondering what our next steps were destined to be. Dealing with IT changes and financial year-ends at work, as well as M’s challenging behaviour at home, has left me feeling battered, bruised and emotionally fragile.

In the midst of the week, I desperately needed a little hope to remind me that there is more to life than the rubbish I’ve been dealing with recently and it came on Thursday, from what was, to me, a surprising source.

M is fast-approaching the end of his final year in Infants and will be moving up to our local Junior school in September. G has been there since Christmas and has really flourished and we felt that it was the right place for M to continue his education. We haven’t had the support we had hoped for or that we are entitled to from M’s current school and I have been concerned as to whether things would improve when he made the move.

On Thursday, I arranged a meeting with the Head teacher, SENCo (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator) and class teacher to discuss all of M’s needs from the EGID to the newly diagnosed dyslexia and dyspraxia. I spent considerable time reading around what we were entitled to in terms of support for all of these issues, spoke to our local authority about whether we could hope for any help from them and what exact questions I needed to be asking to make sure my boy gets the help he so desperately needs in the classroom setting.

I went to the meeting with the lowest of expectations as I know how hard the world of SEN can be from following the experiences of others and talking to those in the know, but I was quickly proved wrong. The staff members were interested in M, asked questions along the way and made suggestions of how best to help him within the classroom. They made copious notes about what small things we have already found help him and where we need to make improvements to support him more.

The SENCo had already put a phone-call in to his current school to ask for information from them about what procedures, if any, they’ve put in place for him and had read through the report from the Dyslexia Centre which contained the Educational Psychologist’s recommendations for help. She checked whether we had made the referral to Occupational Therapy, which our GP did during the week, as she was happy to do that for us, but felt it would be quicker coming from the GP than from school.

Even before the OT referral eventually happens, the school are happy to support his dyslexia and dyspraxia by:

the use of a writing slope (provided by us!) in the classroom
the use of triangular pencils and pencil grips (again from us) in the classroom
photocopying or printing worksheets onto yellow paper as this helps M to see writing clearer
the use of lined, yellow paper when he’s writing or doing spelling tests, where practical
the use of a stress ball to warm his right hand before he starts writing
encouraging him to use a yellow overlay when he’s reading as this helps him track the words

Then we got to the biggie, the matter of M’s EGID, multiple food allergies and his current frustrations and emotional issues surrounding it. I printed out a letter for the school, which I sourced from FABED and which I could personalise to highlight M’s exact condition, allergies, medicines and reactions. Both his class teacher and the SENCo gave the document a quick scan and then listened intently as I explained the finer details of what this condition entails.

One of my biggest concerns was how they would handle it if M experienced a soiling accident at school. We have been fortunate that over the last 3 years of his education, this has happened only a handful of times, but given his current relapse and all the anxieties of moving up to a new school, I wanted to pre-warn them that this could be an issue. They instantly agreed that there would be a need for additional support for M in case this happened and wanted to discuss it further with the Head, particularly as they don’t currently have a shower or suitable facilities to make changing him easy. At no point did I feel that this was an inconvenience and whilst I don’t expect miracles, or funding, to happen overnight, I am confident that they will find a way to make sure his needs are met.

I had discussed the meeting with M the night before as I felt it important that he understood that the school wanted to help him and also to gain an insight into whether there was anything he was particularly worried about regarding the move. M has had some issues in building friendships and he was worried that the other children in his class would ask him a lot of questions and then be mean to him because of the food allergies. He is overly sensitive and as emotionally fragile as me at the moment and this was obviously playing on his mind a lot.

I raised M’s concerns and was thrilled to hear his class teacher instantly suggest that they discuss his food allergies as part of the circle time during the first week of term. They will be talking about all the children and asking them to share something about themselves, so will be a perfect opportunity for M’s allergies to become known in a non-confrontational way. M can choose to have as much involvement in that discussion as he wants and will help him understand what the other children are told about him.

The staff were concerned and interested enough to reassure me that they would do everything they could to support M in school. They will be working on a health care plan as well as some short-term targets that will cover all of his health issues and educational needs. They will ensure that all adults who come into the school, and not just those dealing directly with M, are made aware of his multiple allergies and that his photo, name and list of those allergies will be displayed in the staff-room. Most importantly, they will maintain a strong communication link between us and them, to make sure that any problems that arise either from their point of view, or from home, are dealt with quickly and not left to develop into something worse.

My difficult week has ended with some hope that, whilst I can’t control M’s health, we will be able to influence his education and that hope really has given me some courage and has renewed my belief that we are strong enough to walk this path.

The psychiatrist’s couch

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The thing about blogging is that, as well as sharing our experiences with others and maybe helping those who are facing similar journeys, it has become a form of cheap therapy for me. I can pour my heart out into my words, delete those that needed to be said, but not shared and publish the rest for the world to see and comment on. For those of you who know me well, you will understand that I’m not very good at sharing when I’m struggling with life, even to my nearest and dearest, and yet I can express my emotions through a few deft strokes on the keyboard almost without pause.

My Mum, who I know will be reading this and rolling her eyes (and yes, the phone-call will come later), frequently says she doesn’t understand the need to share everything with the world at large which so many of us do these days, be it through blogging or social media such as Facebook or Twitter. Is there an easy or obvious answer to that why? I can’t comment on why others share the most intimate details of their mundane lives, but I know why I do it. I have a story to tell and life experiences to share. When I started my blog I couldn’t anticipate how many people would read and follow my musings, but as I approach the 2,000th view of my blog, I am flattered that people have read something that has resonated with them. I know that some posts will be far more therapeutic for me than interesting for you, my reader, and I thank you that you’re prepared to bear with me and keep on reading.

The rest of today’s post is very much in that vein as life with M is proving difficult right now and I need to lie down and share from the psychiatrist’s couch.

Since M’s relapse back in April, we have been waiting for his system to settle and for things to improve and return us to where we had been at the start of the year. Our GOSH appointment in May had reassured us that his gut would repair and they spoke positively about the possibility of trialling one of his forbidden foods and even reducing his medication over the next 6 months.

Unfortunately, life hasn’t turned out that way and instead we are caught in a downward spiral and seem to be sinking fast. Our weekend at Legoland was a real step back to where we had been and much nearer the beginning of our journey then we were happy to be. As well as the return of multiple soiling accidents with chronic diarrhoea, M has suffered from stomach cramps, overwhelming tiredness, fluctuating appetite and blood in his stools. He is obviously struggling with his emotions and frustrations and is just generally out-of-sorts.

My conversation with our ever-wonderful dietician last week confirmed my inclination to speak to M’s gastro team as we really need to get him back on track. I was worried that we would be asked to remove something further from his already restricted diet, but the registrar told me that that wasn’t the way forward right now. Instead, we are introducing another medicine into the mix to try and suppress the reactions he’s experiencing and are being sent to our local hospital for an abdominal x-ray.

There are no easy answers to this problem for the time being. We don’t know why his small body has gone back into hyper-drive in response to the food allergies and we are feeling helpless in our inability to regain some semblance of control. If the x-ray is clear, which we’re expecting it to be, then the next logical step is another set of scopes, but that isn’t an easy decision to make because of M’s problems with anaesthetic. We also know that we still haven’t removed the possibility of moving M to the elemental diet from the table either and that seems like a daunting prospect.

The one thing I have learned from the wonderful families we met through FABED is that we’re not on our own and that however hard the next step might seem to us, there will be somebody else out there who has walked that path before us and will hold our hands along the way.

What’s more, a cup of tea or coffee and a chance to escape the EGID world, even for half an hour, is great therapy too.

Fabulous FABED!

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We have once again enjoyed a busy weekend. Thanks to the wonderful organisational skills of the dedicated group of parents who set up FABED back in 2005 to support parents and families of children with EGID, we enjoyed an amazing weekend at Legoland Windsor.

What made this weekend so special was that it was organised with our EGID children in mind. A full day to meet other families who are carrying the same load as us and who know how it feels to be fighting a never-ending daily battle that most of our friends just can’t comprehend. An opportunity for M to meet children who are just like him, suffer from the same condition and have to live with multiple food-allergies to a greater or lesser extent. A chance for G to meet others whose siblings are constantly in hospital, or making hospital visits and who are often the focus of so much attention.

We met bright and early on Saturday morning and were delighted to see that there were in the region of 40 families there, all of whom had at least 1 child with EGID, though we got to know one family where all 4 children were affected to some degree. This was our first FABED event, but were instantly made to feel welcome and amongst friends. We recognised some familiar faces from the Allergy Show a couple of weeks ago and both M and G instantly made some new friends.

Unfortunately M suffered a bad day, but we had the advantage of being able to seek refuge in the suite at the amazing Legoland Hotel. There was a dedicated medical room to provide privacy for those who needed it for feeding or medical purposes. The Suite itself had tea and coffee-making facilities for the parents and a play area filled with Lego for the children to enjoy. We took an hour and a half out of the day to give M some much needed downtime and the children enjoyed attempting to build the biggest tower possible with some of their new friends.

The evening showed just how much hard work and thought had gone into making this an unparalleled get-together. A buffet dinner was provided for the FABED families, with full details of all ingredients used to prepare the dishes and options available to cater for even the most difficult of diets. Those children unable to eat were able to spend time in the play area, which was next door but out of sight of the food. M was delighted to be able to choose from such a wide selection of foods and we were reassured that we knew what each dish contained and what he could and couldn’t eat.

As soon as we heard about this day out, we knew we’d be going along. It would have taken something extreme to keep us away. M feels so alone in his allergy world that the opportunity to show that he really isn’t on his own and to allow him to chat and get to know other EGID sufferers was one that we couldn’t turn down. He made particular friends with young R, who is a year older, but feels the same emotions and frustrations as M. They were able to have an honest chat and M values this new friend who is “just like me Mummy, but he can eat even less, sometimes has to be tube fed and has accidents too.” R’s big sister, F, was a great source of comfort to G also as they share the same experiences of a younger brother with EGID as well as struggling with their own food allergies.

I also got to meet the delightful mumannie123, who writes the blog, Food for Thought: Boweled over by food allergies, recipes and advice. We have got to know each other a little over the last couple of weeks through our respective blogs, so it was wonderful to finally put a face to the name and spend some real time chatting. We have discovered that we live in the same part of the world, so I’m looking forward to perhaps being able to meet in person as time allows, as there is nothing quite like having a friend who understands what you’re going through from firsthand experience.

We made the decision to make a weekend of it and stayed the night at the Hotel in an Adventurers Room. The lego models and details in these rooms are astounding:

This weekend has been a truly fabulous weekend and my heartfelt thanks go out to FABED and Legoland Windsor for accommodating such a complex range of needs and ensuring that so many families were able to enjoy as normal a day out as possible when dealing with illness. To this family, at very least, it has made a huge difference and has given us a great resource for support for this journey that we now know we are not travelling on our own.

Parent Power

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I don’t know why anything surprises me any more when it comes to dealing with our local authority or the NHS or those involved in M’s education or, indeed, any combination of the three, but yet again, I have been amazed and astounded to find that the best way to get support for him is for us to take the initiative and forge the way, showing the professionals the best and most efficient way to get the job done.

We first discovered the power we wielded as parents approximately 12 months ago, when we came to the conclusion that M needed some speech and therapy help. Actually, that’s not exactly true. We first discovered it when we insisted on following our instincts and getting the referral to GOSH, but it would be accurate to say we were reminded of this yet again a year ago. M was a late developer when it came to his speech and for a long time was extremely difficult to understand. The only people who could understand what M was trying to communicate was G and me, which led to frustration all round as I was continually having to interpret for him and he hated the fact that nobody understood what he was trying to say.

Two things happened last summer that made us decide that we finally needed to address the issue. First of all, M failed his phonics testing at school as his pronunciation suggested that he didn’t know his phonics. His teacher hadn’t wanted to raise his speech as an issue with us before because of all the other health worries we were dealing with, but when Mike expressed his concerns with her, she was quick to concur. Despite our requests, we were told that there was nothing that the school could do to refer us for speech and language therapy and so we needed to see what, if anything, we could do ourselves.

The second was during a visit to our local National Trust property for a fun day out. G and M befriended another little boy and started playing quoits with him and his father. When the father asked M to repeat for the third time how old he was, “six”, and then turned to G to seek confirmation of M’s age, I could see the frustration reflected on M’s face and determined then and there that we had no other choice.

At that time, I thought that the only way forward was for us to pay for private speech therapy for M and so set Mike the task of speaking to a couple of local speech therapists about starting the process and seeing if they could help M or not. Within minutes of his first conversation, Mike was told something startling. Not only could M’s speech problem be identified – he pronounced his sounds through his nose, known as “nasal fricative” pronunciation – but there was definitely something a therapist could do to help and, what was more, Mike and I could complete a parent referral on the NHS for treatment.

We filled the forms, returned them to our local health authority and waited for the assessment date, which was scheduled for about 6 weeks later. The assessment completed, the therapist agreed that he should receive therapy within the school setting and 3 months later, M started 12 weeks of SaLT (Speech and Language Therapy) 2-3 times a week at school, all courtesy of the NHS. If we had listened to the advice of M’s school, we would have paid for the privilege of the therapy that M was entitled to and that has changed his speech and his confidence beyond recognition.

Now, a year on, we are again in a position where we could have ended up paying privately or waiting an inordinate amount of time for something M is entitled to receive. One of the recommendations made following M’s diagnosis with dyslexia and dyspraxia is that he receives Occupational Therapy (OT) to help develop his motor skills and his muscle strength, which, in turn, will improve his handwriting. The Dyslexia Centre gave us details of local, private OTs who would be able to provide M with the therapy he needs to see him develop.

I was told by another Mum, who’s child receives OT support through our local authority, that the waiting list for NHS-provided OT is in the region of 8-9 months, which is a long time to wait for something that could make a significant difference to M right now. It was here that I hit the next wall of confusion. I was advised to ask our GP to refer him, but she informed me that the only way to refer M for local OT was through his school. Now, given that M’s school hadn’t identified there even being a problem academically and were surprised that we had taken the decision to have him assessed for dyslexia and dyspraxia, I had no confidence whatsoever that we would get a referral from them, particularly after the whole speech therapy debacle.

So, once again, Mike took to the phone and made some strategic phone-calls. His first point of call recommended calling our local cottage hospital as it provides physiotherapy and OT for the community. One quick phone-call to there and we had an answer. We needed to print out a copy of M’s report from the Dyslexia Centre which details the benefits of OT to him, write a quick covering letter and send it directly to the Physio department at the hospital, whereupon they would review it and let us know.

Today, this plan changed again. The Physio department called me to ask why we had sent them the report. I explained the advice given and she was stumped. They don’t work in OT with children at the hospital and so advised that I called Children’s services at the local authority or alternatively the nearby Children’s Hospital.

You can probably guess where I’m going with this, but no sooner had I called Children’s Services, than I was advised that OT was run out of a different location and I needed to contact them direct. I have just spoken to a wonderfully helpful lady from Community Children’s Services, who has told me I need to go to either the school or the GP to get the OT referral M needs! Back to square one.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the NHS and am impressed by the range of services and support they are able to provide, free of charge, to so many people, but once again, the link between NHS, the local authority and the school is an inefficient one. Over the course of the last week, I have gone full circle and am now back to where I started without making any discernible steps forward. However, I am now armed with the advice that I need to get the referral made and a name for the GP to send it to. When the lead-in time for much needed help is so long, every moment wasted is frustrating for us all. The support that M needs is going to have to start with us and I will be fighting his battles, and any that G faces in the future, before anyone else wants to get involved. Maybe re-training as an Occupational Therapist would be the quickest solution to our current need, or perhaps I shall return to the wise advice offered by Dr Google to see if I can pick up any tips from there to try whilst we wait for the referral to be made…

What else can I say? Parent power rules!

The Secret of the Swap Box

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Well, I couldn’t resist just one more memory to celebrate Fathers’ Day!

This weekend has been a lot less manic than the last. Other than the obligatory Fathers’ Day celebrations on Sunday, we also had 2 very important appointments to keep on Sunday afternoon. G and M took their very first individual Speech and Drama LAMDA exams. It’ll be a wait of another 6-8 weeks until we hear the results, but I’m proud of them both for having a go at this new challenge.

So, we’ve spent time playing games, watching TV, doing some homework and enjoying some quiet family time. We’ve also worked on a project that has become very important to G over the last couple of weeks – her swap box.

This is an idea that was recommended to me about a year ago by a parent at M’s school. She had overheard a conversation I was having with a fellow Mum about having to anticipate when treats might be given out in class to avoid having to deal with M’s frustration when he couldn’t have one. She asked if we’d ever thought of providing a Swap box to be kept in the classroom.

I looked at her blankly, listened intently and then wondered why I had never thought of such a simple solution to this problem. The idea really is an easy one. We provided a box, decorated by M, that was filled with a selection of sweets, biscuits and other treats that were M-friendly. Whenever M is given a treat for any reason in the classroom – birthday celebrations, leaving gifts, rewards for good behaviour, Advent chocolates or Easter eggs – he is allowed to take what he’s been given and swap it for a safe alternative from his box. This means that he never feels excluded from all that is going on and we can be assured that he isn’t being given any food that could cause an allergic reaction.

I had never considered the need for G to have same, but in the last couple of weeks she has been unable to have caramels or chocolates that have been brought into school to share. I was hoping to maybe make it to the end of term (well there are only 5 weeks left) and sort G’s swap box over the summer holidays, but alas, that wasn’t to be. G was adamant that she needed one now and so we found a box and allowed her to decorate it this weekend. I’ve filled it with a small supply of Haribo sweets, fruit snacks and some M-friendly packets of biscuits and she’s taken it into school this morning to stash with her teacher.

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It really is one of the simplest suggestions I’ve come across in dealing with M’s condition and has proven to be invaluable as he has found no need to strop or complain about being different to his friends. After all, when you’re struggling with quite so many challenges, being able to take part with everyone else is really worth it’s weight in gold.

Happy Fathers’ Day

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I couldn’t let today pass without a post to recognise all that Mike has been to us as a family. He’s certainly had to see us through some tough times, almost from the very beginning 15 years ago. He’s been a great Dad to G and M and I couldn’t have asked for more. Know that we all love you very much – even if they did spend part of the day squabbling!

Just a few of my favourite photos from the last 10 years.

Grandpa R with G & M

Also to my father-in-law, who has been a wonderful part of G and M’s lives even though he is a 7-hour flight away. The kids love spending time with you and have precious memories of our last trip out to Canada that will stay with them for a long time.

Dad with G

And not forgetting my Dad, who sadly left us nearly 9 years ago and never had the chance to meet M or even get to know G properly. I know he would have been proud of them both and would have loved them dearly.

You all have an integral part to play in the lives of G and M and are amazing sources of love and support when the allergy-life gets us all down.

Eating out

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Unsurprisingly, when you’re having to work with any number of food allergies, it becomes a minefield to negotiate when considering going out for a meal. As food allergies appear to become more prevalent in our society, more and more of the larger restaurant chains are becoming aware of the need to make provision and adapt their menus to suit a wider audience. Charities such as Coeliac UK provide their members with a list of “safe” restaurants to eat and offer advice as to what to do when going out for a meal.

For many families like ours, even this information is not enough to guarantee that we can eat out safely. M is our hyper-sensitive, multiple food allergy suffering stumbling block to overcome when we consider eating away from home. One piece of luck we do have on our side is that M is a complete and utter foodie. He loves food and is prepared to try almost anything at least once, unlike his big sister, who has become increasingly fussy the older she gets. He particularly enjoys eating seafood and fish, though he will readily admit that oysters are not a favourite! And yes, he has tried them, but found them a little too salty for his taste.

However, we have been lucky enough to find a small handful of restaurants that do cater to our needs and that don’t appear to cause a negative reaction in M. There is no guarantee that these would suit everyone with food allergies, but they may be worth a go. I would highly recommend contacting the restaurant before your visit to check whether they can confirm if they can accommodate your specific food allergies, taking a look on-line at their allergy-friendly menus and we have found the Dietetics team at GOSH to be extremely knowledgeable too.

Nando’s: Whilst there are obvious foods that M can’t eat (the wraps, rolls and breads for a start), the chicken is gluten and wheat free and, so far, M seems able to tolerate the chips. What’s more, if you’re at all anxious about what the individual ingredients are, each Nando’s restaurant has a Food and Menu specifications book which is readily available. M loves visiting Nando’s, not least because the children’s menu includes a M-friendly ice lolly as an alternative to the frozen yoghurt offered for dessert.

TGI Friday’s have their “Five Easy Pieces” menu, which provides meal options for those suffering from a gluten or lactose intolerance and includes a child specific selection. M has enjoyed the steak, the chicken tenders and the hot dog without problem, though it is possible that the hot dog contains soya. Unfortunately, they are yet to provide any dessert that suits those who struggle with food allergies, but the main courses tend to be large enough to satisfy most appetites in my experience.

We only recently discovered that Bella Italia has a gluten free option on their menus and have been incredibly impressed with the level of service we’ve had when eating there with M. He chose a gluten-free pizza base, which the manager confirmed was also soya-, dairy- and egg-free, and topped it with their tomato sauce, ham and olives. M was in seventh heaven when we discovered this treat and is desperate to go back with the rest of the family in tow. They also do gluten-free pasta, though we have yet to try that out and were able to provide 2 alternatives for dessert – sorbet or M-friendly ice lolly.

The latest restaurant to jump onto the gluten-free bandwagon is Pizza Express. Their gluten-free menu went live on 1 May 2013 and they have now updated the information to detail which ingredients on their menu should be avoided because they also contain gluten. We tried Pizza Express out with the children last weekend when we were at the Allergy Show and were again impressed with the pizzas that arrived. However, they did mess up the order a little by forgetting to add G’s goat’s cheese on her pizza, but otherwise we were impressed with the meal. Sadly, another without a dessert that suits those with multiple food allergies and M insists that the Bella Italia pizza was far better and bigger.

There are very many local or specialist restaurants out there who will also accommodate the most complex of dietary needs, but these should be a good starting point for anyone with children with food allergies. A word of caution to add, these restaurants are not able to guarantee that no cross-contamination will occur within their kitchens, though they work hard to make sure the risk is a minimal as possible. We have found that by talking to the waiting staff and explaining our needs, we get the best service we could ask for and I would recommend asking them what they can do to make your eating out experience the best one possible.

Hyper-sensitive M

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Now many of you might have looked at that title and wondered on the use of “hyper-sensitive” in reference to M. Over-sensitive may well have seemed reasonable and I’d agree, having seen the wild mood swings and tantrums that sometimes rock my youngest, but hyper-sensitive was a word that I chose deliberately.

You may remember from a blog back in April that I had been awakened by a distressed M in the early hours of the morning. What I didn’t share back then was that the reason behind his disturbed night was an unexpected allergic reaction to a mint. Yes, you read that correctly, the humble mint has caused a month of suffering for M and we are only now beginning to see a faint, flickering light at the end of that very dark tunnel.

I have to admit to feeling like a dreadful parent once I realised the cause behind the relapse. Perhaps the quick scan of the list of ingredients hadn’t been enough? Perhaps I had missed the warning that said it contained something that M was allergic to? Perhaps I need to insist that he doesn’t have a treat when with friends, but only ever eats what I’ve provided. Well, the last point might be valid, but in this case, I’ve discovered that actually there was nothing that I could have done differently and my guilt was unjustified.

The only reason I know that the mint was the culprit is thanks, yet again, to my mighty friend, Dr Google. The night after that very disturbed one, having seen the consequences of the unexpected relapse throughout the day, I examined in minute detail the food diary we keep for M to see what, if anything, was different about his diet. As part of the process of discovering exactly what M is allergic to, I keep a daily food record of every item of food that passes his lips as well as noting if he’s been feeling unwell, had a temperature or has had a soiling accident and so I knew that the answer to our puzzle was likely to be found in there.

The previous afternoon we had met up with a school friend of M and his family for a play and a catch-up away from the playground. Whilst there, M’s friend B asked if M was allowed to have a Mento mint. I scanned my eyes over the ingredients quickly and saw nothing to suggest that M couldn’t have one. I gave my permission and the boys ran off to share the packet between them and their big sisters. Using Google the following evening, I discovered to my dismay that the glucose syrup contained in Mento mints is derived from wheat, which is not stated anywhere on the packaging itself.

After the exclusion of gluten from his diet back in January, we had seen the disappearance of the last allergic reaction as M finally become fully toilet-trained for the first time in his 7 years. We celebrated 30 days of being accident-free with a trip to Build-a-Bear workshop and M became much happier and calmer in himself as he no longer needed to worry about whether he was going to get to the toilet on time or not. Now that had all disappeared. I couldn’t believe that something so seemingly simple was the cause of a great deal of heartache and frustration for the whole family as M went into relapse and we were back to square 1.

We had an appointment booked at GOSH for the beginning of May and I looked forward to the opportunity to discuss the problem with the team there. Their initial response was somewhat sceptical, I have to confess, as this product is considered safe by Coeliac UK, who are a respected advisory group to those suffering from wheat and gluten allergies. However, I knew that these were the only thing that could have caused M’s reaction and was adamant that this was the problem. Fortunately, my standpoint was further strengthened by the fact that we knew that M reacted to soya lecithin despite being assured that this is usually safe for soya-allergy sufferers. This we had sadly discovered was not true for M at Easter, when he had a mild reaction each time he ate any of his “everything but soya lecithin free” Easter egg.

The conclusion was simple. M suffers not only from multiple food allergies, but is considered to be hyper-sensitive to them. This means that whilst some ridiculously high percentage of wheat- and gluten-allergy sufferers will not react to by-products such as this glucose syrup derived from wheat, and likewise soya-allergy sufferers will not react to soya lecithin, M will do. He may grow out of these as he gets older, but he might not. He could develop further allergies, or he could not. There is no simple answer to the problem of having a hyper-sensitive, multiple food allergy suffering child. I can ensure that as much of the food I buy is as M-friendly as possible and I can attempt to restrict him to only those treats I’ve researched and deemed safe, but there will be times when we might just have to take the chance and I will have to support him and deal with the consequences.

The most difficult challenge for us now is taking M anywhere. The risk we have to consider is whether M will be okay with a food if we don’t know categorically what it contains and are certain it’s safe. That immediately restricts the restaurants we can take him to on the occasional day out and means that I am going to be paranoid and become “that Mum” who is over-anxious about what their child is being fed in anyone else’s home. The truth is I don’t mind being labelled as a fussy Mum, I’m sure I’ve been called much worse, if it ensures that we get M back to the road to recovery and keep him there for a few months at very least.

	M	Me	Mike
Breakfast	–	Crispbread x2 with peanut butter	Bowl of: Cornflakes Raisins Rice milk
Lunch	Crispbreads x3 Ham Cucumber (3 slices) Chips Carrots (2 sticks) Tomato ketchup	Crispbreads x4 Ham Cucumber Carrots Tomatoes Mango	Crispbreads x4 Chips Carrots Cucumber Tomato ketchup Tomatoes Mango
Dinner	Salmon New potatoes (3) Peas Corn Cucumber Chocolate bread Strawberries Raspberries Grapes Ice cream	Salmon Rice Grilled tomato Caesar salad Raspberries Strawberries	Salmon New potatoes Peas Grilled tomato Caesar salad Raspberries Strawberries Banana Grapes
Snacks	Nkd Berry Blast date bar Ginger cookie Banana (1/2) Blackberries	Fruit tea

7 years to diagnosis

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